I love you to the Circinus Constellation and Back

Chapter 15!

Harry told Mike he was feeling sick that night and got out of dinner. It wasn't a total lie. Harry did feel sick. He might've just broken up, if they were even together, with the most beautiful boy he had ever met. Harry felt like throwing up. What the hell was he thinking!? Why was Louis being so jealous!? Like, overly jealous!

Harry kicked at the dirt, barely able to lift his feet, all the way back to the cabin. He didn't even change out of his flannel. He had always worn it when he felt sad at home, reminding him of his dad. He pulled it tightly around his waist and climbed up the ladder. He was almost positive he just wanted to go to sleep, but something kept him awake.

Harry sat on his bunk, high above the ground floor, in a crisscross position, hugging his pillow to his chest. The sky wasn't fully dark yet, but the sun was setting and the crickets were starting to chirp in harmony with the wind's singing. Harry stared around the room and took in the sight.

Niall's blankets were hanging off the edge of his bunk, concealing Zayn's bunk from view. He had a stash of food wrappers at the end of his bunk and his actual stash of food was hidden in his second pillow. He still had the picture of his guitar hanging on the wall, but the wall was now filled with new photos his family had sent him.

Liam's single bunk resembled an island in the sea of laundry and boy crap. He was the only person, besides Mike, whose bed was made, and he kept his boom box shaped pillow neatly at the edge of his bed. The headdress of his bunk was also made up of pictures from home.

Then there was Louis' bunk. Harry couldn't really see any of it, but he did notice Louis' football on the floor a few feet away from his bed, and his jersey hanging loosely off his mattress. Harry was almost positive, however, that Louis hadn't made his bed.

Harry sat on his own unmade bed, hugging his pillow tight, and subconsciously moved his second pillow over the crack that he and Louis used to pass notes to each other. Or used to use. Harry doubted they would continue that now.

The realization washed over Harry then and there. He had just lost Louis. He'd lost the boy's laugh. He'd lost the boy's art-like smile. He'd lost the boy's touch. He'd lost the boy's indefinable eyes. He'd lost the boys kisses. He'd lost the boy. He'd lost Louis.

Maybe not! Part of his mind added. Maybe he'll come crawling back, apologizing for what he'd done, and you can get back together.

But the thing was, Louis hadn't really done anything wrong. All couples have the right to be jealous, only Louis' jealousy was getting outrageous and out of hand.

Why would he apologize? The logical side of Harry's brain screamed. You told him to quit loving you! Why would he apologize to you when you were the one who broke off the ... the relationship!

Harry didn't even realize he was crying up until that moment, but when he did realize, he welcomed the tears. He didn't stop them from taking over his eyes and cheeks. He leaned his head back against the wall and cried.

He just cried.

He couldn't stop himself from crying.

The worst thing was, Harry didn't even know what he and Louis were before the fight. He wanted to say boyfriends, but Louis never called him that. He wanted to say 'I love you' to the boy but he never did. He only said 'quit loving me'.

QUIT LOVING ME! The words rang in Harry's ears, causing another wave of tears to shoot out.

What was he supposed to do now?