Dark tides, and darker things.

Elfman III

Shit...Shit! I think as I felt more tears drip down my face and into Ever's hair. The more tears that fell, the more I held Ever closer to me.

"It's okay" Ever said gently. "It's okay. If it's okay for me to cry, then it is more than okay for you to cry" she squeezed me tightly and I was all to aware of her face against my neck. I tilt my head down and felt how wet her hair was from all the snow, sleet, rain, and now my tears were adding to the mix. She didn't ask me to dump this on her, she probably doesn't even want to see any of this!

"Shit!" I swear and push myself away. The hug felt so good, but I never felt this way. This vulnerable, sad, emotionally scarred way. But being held by her, felt so good. She is the only person besides my sisters who has hugged me. It wasn't the awkward sympathies that I received from people when I accidentally let something personal slip. Hells it was better than getting sympathies from my sisters, who feel guilty more than anything, like they have wronged me or cheated me from something. But being held also scared me so badly. I've dumped all my problems on her only a day after she opened up to me. What if I've ruined the friendly bantering relationship we have? And have replaced it with awkwardness and the danger that she has my personal issues over my head, just like I have some personal issues over her's. "Fuck I'm sorry!" I swear and turn away from her.

"Sorry?! What are you sorry for?" Ever asked and I felt her hand on my shoulder again. I shiver at the contact and want to throw it off me because of how vulnerable I felt. But more than anything I want to hold her slim smooth hand in my own.

"For dumping all my personal crap on you!" I thickly reply and scrub the never ending tears from my face.

"Elfman I did basically the same thing to you a couple of minutes ago, and yesterday!" she replied and walked to my side.

"This is different!" I hiss and rub harder at my awful, strange, weird face.

"Why? Because for once you aren't listening to people talk, and are finally talking yourself". A hand took my own away from my face and I was forced to look at her standing in front of me with a bandaged wrapped around her pretty face. I say nothing and refuse to make eye contact. Her hand, the left one stayed on my shoulder. "It's hard isn't it? Opening up that is". I nod and look at the thick pine needles above our heads. "It's hard because it hurts more than it makes you feel better in the beginning. Doesn't it?". I nod again. "...." she looks at the pine needles with me and then squeezes my shoulder. "You haven't told that to anyone have you?".

I shake my head, and the pine needles became hazy with the moisture in my eyes.

"And yet you told me...Why?". She didn't ask harshly, like 'why did you open up to me? I didn't need to hear that shit' type question. She seemed genuinely curious about why I trusted her with all my angst and problems.

I pause and swallow. I need to find the right words. My throat was aching and my eyes were hot when I finally spoke. "Because even though you are the complete opposite of me. And have no effect on my problems at all, I feel as though you could understand" I said hoarsely. Ever just looked at me with those deep chocolate brown eyes and said nothing. It was silent for a few long seconds. Too long. Shit...she doesn't understand! I back away and turn to leave. But her hand bites deeper into my shoulder and forces me to stay.

"Wait" she said. I stand nervously and swallow. Please just don't...Reject me, or tell me something cruel...I think and shift uneasily. This is like the moment that you jump off a cliff and into the ocean, but you don't know if rocks are at the bottom. She slips of her dark coat for the second time and takes off the ragged remains of her plaid overcoat. She rips the sleeve up and smooths out the fabric before pulling back on the remains and her black coat. Looking up again she takes my hand in her own and presses the rag into it. "I can tell what you are thinking. I felt the same way so stop thinking that. Don't think you need to be a stranger to me now"