Dark tides, and darker things.

Elfman VIII

My head throbbed in pain like a huge iron spike was being shoved in it. Blinking blearily the mild light shinning through the window forced me to squeeze my eyes shut again. I groan lowly and press my face deep into the warm furs in front of me to muffle out the bright light.
Shit...my head throbbed with pain and my chest even more so. The skin felt tight and rigid and when I moved I felt the weeping and fresh scabs break open again.

"Ow..."I moan. As I moaned the furs my face is buried in moved slightly. I blink and pull back a bit. Sunlight made my eyes throb painfully and after a few minutes they finally adjusted enough to see. The fire has burned down to smoldering embers and in front of that...A warm bundled body was barely an inch away from my own. Warm puffs of breath floated out from the north end of the bundle and I peer closer.

Ever...despite how incredibly drunk I got the night wasn't lost on me. I remember her hatred, her anger at the Raijinshuu, her words about me, and finally...the first kiss. I thought that I was so drunk last night, but clearly not enough to forget that bit.

"Everybody is having their first kiss at thirteen or even twelve" I remember her words. She was oblivious to my awkwardness, and obviousness. I don't hold that against her, I'm not even mad. It's just it was salt in a wound because she is right. Everyone in the guild has had them at that age. Loki, definitely. Gray, certainly. Natsu, most likely. Me? Not a chance. It makes me feel so isolated and depressed, I know Mira definitely has. Lisanna, I can't guarantee it but I'm sure sure she has too. And Ever...Ever is the icing on the cake. She went into detail about her first kiss and made me feel inadequate about me and my virgin lips. Virgin lips...the thought should feel pure and untouched. But the thought is as scathing as a hot blade and made me feel lonely. My virgin lips feel out of date and unwanted, like their untouched qualities were never supposed to last this long.

I wonder if I will ever be kissed...I thought and studied the warm mass in front of me. Great, all aboard the pity train! I think sourly. There is part of me that I don't want to acknowledge, the part of me that was hoping to be kissed that night. The way she looked so distressed about embarrassing me about it, I was hoping...But that is unrealistic and wrong after what she has been through. Also it would be nothing but a pity kiss. Not a warm genuine kiss that I hope for and even spend nights imagining. Most guys imagine hot sex and how many girls they can lay. I just imagine what it would feel like to have that kiss from someone that wants to give it, with no ulterior motive. Pretty pathetic right?
I sigh and push myself up to shake of my self pity. It isn't appropriate right now and certainly isn't helping this job move along. I lean over slightly to look at Ever's face. It is black and blue and swollen. Anger boiled in me and a sense of tragedy. No one should ever touch her face like that. And for punches to create bruises this brutal, there had to be a lot of power behind the punch. I gently push her hair out of her face and jump when I see her eyes are open and staring out into the fireplace.

"Ever...I'm sorry if I woke you" I stammer, frozen in place.

"I hardly slept..." She sighed and rubbed her forehead. We were quiet for a few long moments and then I couldn't help myself.

"How are you feeling. Is there anything I can get you?"

"I feel sore and like shit, and I don't want anything" she sits up uneasily and pulls on her glasses. They were new ones but did nothing to hide her bruises. When she turned to me, my hand reached out automatically and grazed my fingers on one of the few places of clear skin. Her skin is velvety soft...
How can someone do this to her?! I thought angrily. Her hand reached up and pulled away my own to release it on the ground.

"I'm sorry" I say.

"You're saying that a lot. Don't be, you mean only kindness" she said quietly. Her eyes are so dead and somber like any happiness is sucked out of them. I wish for anything in those eyes, even anger, hatred, sadness. But they seemed so hollow. She moved her jaw to say something and then flinched in pain.