Come into my World

Letters to you (LGBT)

<< This is just a little thing I decided to do while I have writer's block over A.C.I.T.S. I hope you like it. >>

Dear Mum and Dad,

                                   I know you’re tired of me telling you this time and time again but I feel that I need to keep telling you to stop calling me Tony. I’ve told you before, my name is Toni; with an ‘I’ and I’m not your son, I’m your daughter.

I know you say that you love me and everything but how can you say that when you refuse to accept me as I am? Anytime I wear my dresses or my skirts you rant at me and throw hurtful words towards me. How can you do that and still claim to love me?

I don’t want you to keep reminding me daily that I don’t have breasts or a vagina. Don’t you think I know that already? You say that I can’t be a woman if I can’t have children but newsflash, mum and dad, not all women can have children. Gender isn’t completely physical; it’s emotional too.

I know that it’s hard for you dad when I refuse to play football with you but you have to understand that I have no interest in it and it’s not because I’m a girl but just because it doesn’t spark my interest.

Do you know how much I want to be able to walk around in dresses and skirts like Laura without you both judging me so dearly? It’s not fair, you know. I’ve always been a girl; it’s just unfortunate that I was born in the wrong body.

I’m asking you for the last time to just please learn to accept me as I am. Either you love me as Toni or not at all.

Love from,

Your daughter, Toni.

To Dad,

                 I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry that I can’t like girls in the way that you want me too but most of all I’m sorry I ever told you.

Before I’d told you about my sexuality, everything was great. We’d always have great days out; just you and me. We would play football in the park before returning home and watching more football. I loved it.

We had such an open relationship and we’d always have intense conversations about everything which is why I felt I was able to tell you that I was gay. Boy was I wrong.

As soon as I’d told you, you became so distant towards me. Anytime I was near you, you would inch away from me as if I was carrying a fatal disease. Is that how you saw me?  Do I disgust you?

Why can’t you be as supportive as mum? She still treats me the same.  Why can’t we just go back to normal. We can even pretend that I never say anything. I just want us to go back to normal.

I don’t see why you treat me so different. Nothing has changed about me. I’m still the same boy who kicked your ass at every game of flag football.  Nothing else has changed so why have you?

-          Sam

Alena,

                I want to say I’m sorry but I’m not. I’m not sorry that I’m a lesbian but I’m sorry that you’ve decided to make it an important issue in our friendship.

When I told you that I was a lesbian I thought you would just say okay and we’d just carry on as normal. This was all because I trusted you as my best friend to not make it a big deal but you abused my trust and decided to tell the whole freaking world about it.

Was it really necessary to tell my parents? Do you understand how much pain and humiliation you put me through? Do you even care?

I can easily remember how you had reacted the day I’d told you.  I remember how you had recounted the number of times we had seen each other naked and slept besides each other at numerous sleepovers like it made any difference. Why did it matter now when it never seemed to bother you before?

How could you be so conceited? Just because I was a lesbian, it didn’t mean that I had a thing for every girl I saw. I only ever saw you as my best friend; no scratch that, my sister. Why would I have such thoughts like that towards my own sister?

I haven’t forgiven you yet nor do I plan on doing so anytime soon but I felt I needed to tell you this. Call it closure if like.

-          Aimilee.

To Elly,

                You need to understand that I can’t control what I’m attracted to just like how a fish can’t control whether it can breathe on land or not. I know it’s a bad comparison but that’s beside the point.

What I’m trying to say is that you, sometime in your life, realised you’re attracted to males, right? So why does it bother you that I realised that I took like males as well as females?

I’ve told you time and time again that I’m not gay and I’m also not straight but I love you and want to be with you. My attraction to males should not change anything.

To be honest Elly, I thought we had gotten past the awkward stage in our relationship and that we were actually finally at the ‘old people stage’ where we can be open minded with each other. If you were also attracted to females I wouldn’t care so why can’t you feel the same way?

I’ve lost count of the times you’ve called me selfish and demanded that I just grow up and make up my mind as if we were playing monopoly and I wasn’t sure whether to buy the property or not. You have to understand that I can’t make up my mind because there’s nothing to make up my mind on. You can’t choose your sexuality. You’re born with it therefore you have to live with it.

I know this is not a homophobic gesture because most people in our circle of friends are homosexual which is why it irks me why you can’t accept my sexuality. Like it or not, bisexuality exists!

You shouldn’t care about whether or not I’ve been with other men or if I’ll be with more at a later time. All you should care about our relationship and just live for the present because really, that’s all that matters.

-          Jeffy.

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