Deaf Ears Ring

Chapter 9

That weekend came to an end all too soon. Kaitlin had a lot of fun with the band, believe it or not. We all showed her how to play Mario Kart and she taught them all how to sign their names. We had a pretty fun weekend together and Kaitlin and I were both sad to part when it ended. We kept in touch and the band's headlining tour soon ended.

The holidays were just around the corner when we got home. I sent Kaitlin lots of pictures of the snow and got her a really nice makeup brush kit for Christmas and sent it to her.

All of Christmas day was spent with me telling my family about the situation with Kaitlin and Lindsey. Kaitlin and I texted each other throughout the day too. She hadn't called me 'Dad' since the concert though and I wasn't sure how I felt about that...

Chris shows his mother some pictures of Kaitlin's makeup work that he had on his phone.

"Wow. She really did that?"

"Yeah. She's really talented."

"Well, what does she look like when she isn't covered in blood and organs?"

Chris chuckles and searches for a picture, "Um...Here." He says, showing his phone to her.

"Wow...Oh, she looks so much like you."

"So I keep hearing." Chris says, "I wish she could've been here today."

"Well, maybe next year, she will be."

"Yeah, but what if she isn't?"

"Do you want  her to be?"

"Of course I do, but...I mean, right now, all I'm doing is visiting her and we'll maybe go bowling or go out to eat or something...but if I get custody of this little girl, I...I'm gonna be the one that she'll rely on for quite literally everything until the day she grows up and moves out. I'm going to have to really take care of her...I'm going to be responsible for her health, her education, her overall well-being; I'm gonna be the one that's gonna have to try to help her with homework and driving her to school and praying to a God if there is one that she doesn't get hit in the face with a softball 'cause those things might as well be bricks and I'm gonna be the one who helps her with her first broken heart and she's allergic to shellfish! But I don't know how allergic. I mean, is it just if she eats it or is she gonna, like, die if she's even in the same room as shrimp?! And - "

"Chris. Slow down."

Chris pauses, then exhales and relaxes, "I'm just...not sure if I'm ready for all that."

"Well, honey, I hate to break it to you, but you can't just think about you here. Does she know what she wants?"

Chris pauses again, then nods, "She says she wants to be with me."

His mother raises her eyebrows, "Really." She states.

Chris nods, "She even called me 'Dad'. I mean, she only did it once, and she hasn't said it since, but...it really scares me." He says, "I-I mean, I...I really care about her, Mom, I care about this girl...a-and she's just a little girl; she's just a baby, she...she doesn't deserve to be going through everything she's going through and I just want her to be happy when all of this is said and done, but what if I can't do that? What if she and Lindsey are wrong? What if I can't make Kaitlin happy? What if she chooses me and ends up stuck with me and realizes it's the biggest mistake she's ever made?"

"What makes you think you can't make her happy? Clearly, you already do."

"I can entertain her. I can take her out to lunch and watch close-captioned movies with her and talk about makeup with her, but...I have no idea how to raise a thirteen year old girl."