Yes you break my nofos but ily all anyways tysm... you never hear after.. the do... you know... the do... when you do the do... uh...... *runs and hides forever*
*Dan's POV*
I didn't wake up until noon the next day. Sex is tiring.
I stood up and started to shuffle to the living room, where I saw Phil on his laptop. He was wearing his glasses to see.
Phil is half deaf, so I can get away with a lot of stuff. Especially creeping on him- er- creeping up on him.
I shuffled rather loudly toward Phil, hoping he would hear. Not a thing.
I cleared my throat about a foot away from the back of his head. Nope. My god.
I finally spoke. "Phil," I said sternly.
Not a fucking flinch.
I finally grabbed his glasses off his face. He noticed then.
"Oh, Dan! Good afternoon sweetie," Phil said, turning around and booping my nose.
That's when it hit.
Phil was doing a live stream on YouNow, and he was talking to them. I was the blind one. I got down into frame.
"Hey guys!" I said in my sorta upset tone I say so well.
Another thing hit me. I hadn't done my hair. I darted out of frame and mouthed to Phil, I didn't do my hair!
Somehow the phandom seemed to see too, as the comments filled, telling me to keep it.
They're so far up our asses that they know our thoughts.
Great. People with questionable morals and sanity can read thoughts. What could go wrong?!
Whoa, chill Dan. Stop psychoanalyzing everything. I snapped back in reality to find Phil giving me a "get your hobbit haired arse back in the frame" look. I did as he wished.
God, I really am a bottom.
The comments cheered as I crept back in frame. I grabbed my lumberjack hat that was ~oh so conveniently~ placed next to me and put it on. Just a little bit of my curls stuck out.
Daww, I was kinda cute. I pulled a fetus Dan smile and nestled closer to Phil.
Maybe we weren't horrible at being gay afterall.
*Meanwhile, in Phil's brain*
HOBBIT HAIR AND HAT WHAT DO WE DO
ABORT MISSION
BOOTY NEEDED.
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
LOOK AT THAT BOOTY ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
SHOW ME THE BOOTY ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
GIVE ME THE BOOTY ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
I WANT THE BOOTY ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
BACK UP THE BOOTY ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
I NEED THE BOOTY ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
I LIKE THE BOOTY ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
OH WHAT A BOOTY ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
(Who sang ^^^ that in their head be honest you all did)
*Dan's POV*
Er- I think Phil needs a little help though.
Someone.
PLEASE.
I kinda like writing Phil's thoughts. Basically they're all about Dan's booty but tbh we see it enough so who doesn't think of the booty
Dan's belt should get an Oscar for best actor in a romantic comedy bc that's the genre of dan and phil smut
Booty
Booty doesn't sound like a word to me anymore
Arr me mateys, get the booty!
Bc we all know Dan's booty is literal treasure
I'm a sin
YOU ARE READING
Mario Kart (Phan Smut)
Fanfiction(ON HOLD) Basically just a phanfiction of stupid puns and references idek what it's turned into at this point
