it's time to enter this chapter a sin and leave even more of a sin.
I actually have no clue if this chapter will follow the storyline or nah
Besides if you're reading this (it'stoolate) you're already a sin so who does it matter if this chapter is a sin
ANYHOO I dedicate this chapter to all the memes that Tumblrdidn't love, and all the memes that couldn't type faster, so post, till your 3G runs out.
THIS AIN'T A SCENE IT'S A GAH DER ARH REH
~~
*Dan's POV*
New day, new me. That's all the white girls say, but as I woke up, felt that way. Existential crisises really put you outta it, like Compton. I (amazingly) woke up before Phil, so I slid out of bed like I was sliding into yo dms.
I went, like normal, to the kitchen and cooked up some noms in the form of Delia Smith pancakes, aka the Dan of breakfast food
Get it
I'm unhealthy for you
But you can't get enough of me
At least that's what Phil th- MY MIND IS GOING INTO DARK IMAGINATIVE PLACES LET'S STOP NOW.
I felt adventurous, so I used my triangle power to make my pancakes in a triangle shape.
Mmm
Tastes like the tunnel of-
Oh my god I apologize on my behalf.
(Did I not say ch. 13 is a sin? You can quit now or go to PHIL'S THOUGHTS. Y'all know what that adventure is like. Now put it on crack. You've been warned.)
.
.
.
*Phil's POV- Brain View?*
Wake up me
Morning sexy
O no dan not here
No booty to squeeze
Cri
Craft
DOES PHILLY SMELL DANCAKE
PHIL DOOOO
[Locating Dancake]
[Dancake located]
"DANIELLLLL... DAAAAAANIELL!"
*Phil's POV*
I shot up, suddenly awakened from my dream. "What the-" "PHILLIP MICHAEL LESTER IF YOU SWEAR I WILL PERSONALLY COME IN THERE AND BEAT YOU." I smirked. "Fuck," I yelled.
I heard thuds. I heard multiple thuds.
I took off my pants.
Dan burst through the door.
"I warn- oh my god Phil you're not decent," he said, covering his eyes.
"Oh come on, you've seen my dick, like, twice now," I gestured to my meat stick. "And I was promised a beating."
"Ok, but please put some pants on first," Dan complained.
"You said you would beat me. So, beat me off," I gestured to my submarine again.
(Phil's hooha is a submarine because subs have sea men in them... if you know what I mean ;))
"You smooth mother-" Dan turned around, closing the door behind him as he left.
*Dan's POV*
I'm rubbing off on Phil. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not.
All I know is that he's STILL my future husband so I'm forced to love him
I wonder if we have a kid, if Phil would let me name his Yeezus. Would that be too much Kanye?
Nah, there's never too much Kanye. There's always room for Kanye, and it there isn't, YOU MAKE SOME.
#KanyeForPresident2020
Meanwhile, poor America has to suffer with this idiot named Donald Trump.
If he'd really want to make America great he'd stop running for office.
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Phil walked into the lounge butt naked. I couldn't help but to bite me lip. He walked up to me and positioned himself so his body was over mine, face inches from mine.
He gazed into my eyes seductively and whispered,
"Damn, Daniel. I want to eat that booty like groceries. I wanna whip that arse and nae nae will I stop. Hopefully by the end you'll have a stanky leg, and you'll have to bop around. You'll go woo, I'm your Superman. It's time to hit the Quan and the sheets."
