Help me ( Rwby Bumblebee )

{ Take 39 }

Emotionally: I'm done

Mentally: I'm drained

Spiritually: I'm dead

Physically: I smile

Pain. It is something that we all go through at least once in your life. Others barely experience it, but others experience it a lot more than others.

I envy people who are strong enough to smile but are in so much pain. I used to do that, but it was way too much. Like a wave hovering over you and crashing down on you.

I am so tired. Not exhausted, Tired. I am tired of this never ending pain. I am tired of having to experience it every day. I am tired of hurting others.

I understand, what you go through when hurt. I'm talking about everyone in this world. I had a Faunus friend who killed himself because he was tired of being treated like shit. And he was the strongest person I know.

Overall, it's basically a lesson punching you repeatedly. It hurts, but you never forget what it taught you. What happened before, is what makes you, yourself now.

This morning, I told Blake I was not interested. Do you know how much it pains you to see so much pain on another person? I didn't say anything. I just didn't.

She had a panic attack. And on reflex, I immediately tried to comfort her. A reflex. Annie and my other friend, Krista, would always have panic attacks. So I'm used to this.

It is now around 12pm. I had already done my usual runs in the morning, which was around 5 in the morning. And my usual workouts which took 2 hours. Four hours of working out, overall.

I am now on my laptop, whilst bear is sleeping in a coffee mug on my desk. I figured out his name by a note on my desk that said Blake and his name.

I was chatting with Annie and most of my comrades on Kik. Weird, I know. But ironwood suggested it and we all use it. It works more efficiently than any other communications we use.

I sigh, waiting for Annie to reply. I lean my head on my hand, my elbow placed on the desk. I look at my left wrist where the faded Black ribbon is tied securely.

I kept her ribbon. I'm surprised it didn't rip or tear. It has a really strong piece of material. Other than that, it brought me a sense of ease. I stare at it blankly.

I then look over my shoulder where Blake was sleeping on the bed. She fell asleep on me so I moved to give her some space. Sleep always worked on Annie or Krista, even though sometimes the night terrors came.

My laptop ringed and I turn my head to it. Annie had just sent a video and I click on it. I furrow my brows when the camera is not facing her.

Annie-

" I'm gonna scare her ". She whispered as she walked closer to a closed bedroom door. She then opened the door quickly yelling out, " WHAT ARE YOU DOING! ". Mikasa screamed as she fell off the bed by the sudden yell.

" WHAT THE HELL! ".

The video ended with Annie laughing and running away from an angry Mikasa. I shake my head from amusement and send her a reply saying:

Me: Dumbass

I wait for her to reply since she was probably being punched by Mikasa. And that woman can punch. I think I got so many bruises from the last time we sparred... Yup. Defiantly.

A meow caught my attention and I look to the coffee mug. I watch as bear had struggle getting out of the cup. I then reach over and slowly put the cup down.

He then caught onto my hand with his claws digging into my hand. I wince, shaking him off my left hand. I pull my hand away, seeing a little bit of blood being drawn out.

" Damn ". I mutter as he meows innocently at me. I glare at him and he sat down next to my laptop. " No wonder she likes you ". I said as I get another message from Annie.

Female Titan: Fuck you long. I'm lucky that she sparred me from getting a massive bruising.

I shake my head as I think of the two of them. I've hung out with them before. Annie acts very differently with Mikasa at her side. And Mikasa is just a softie underneath her scariness. She literally scares the hell out of me.

" Hey... Hey! ". I said as bear started walking on my keyboard. I pick him up by the scruff and he cries out. I sigh exasperated and stand up. He squirms in the air as I walk to the bed.

I stop next to the bed and place him on blake's head. He hisses at me as he crawls down her head and into the crook of her neck. I roll my eyes as he takes shelter by blake's neck.

I stare at Blake with a blank expression. Her hands were close to her chest and her legs raised up. Like curling into a ball. I furrow my brows when she starts shaking.

" No.... Stop it ". She muttered. Bear meowed, crawling away from her neck. He stops by her hands and licks her fingers. My eyes widen as I grab him before Blake jolts up.

" STOP IT! ". She screamed out. She looks around frantically before her eyes land on me. Her breathing was quick and she was sweating a bit.

Bear whined as he hid his face in my shirt. I look down at him as I carry him in my palms. I look back at Blake and she was getting teary eyed.

" I'm sorry ". She whispered looking away. She ducked her head, her body trembling. She clutched onto the blanket with a death grip. My eyes caught onto fainted red lines on her wrists, anger now rising.

I place bear on the bedstand, where he meowed at me curiously. I turn to Blake and sat next to her. I grab her forearms, forcing her to look up at me.

" What the hell is this? ". I said as I turn her wrists facing up. Her eyes widen in fear as she knew what I was referring to. She was at a loss of words, frozen in place.

" I know that your hurting but really? This is unacceptable ". I said with a serious tone. She whimpered, looking away shamefully. She let out a low sob, shaking her head.

" What is wrong with you. This is not okay. You could cut a vein and you would bleed out. Do you really want to die! ". I yell angrily.

" No! I'm sorry! ". She pleaded. I was slightly gripping her wrists. She sobbed loudly, shaking violently. " It hurts ". She whispered and I let go. I knew that just a little bit of strength, my right hand could crush a apple. Or your arm. Depends.

" I don't ever want to see you doing this again. I don't want you to be stupid and kill yourself. I don't want you to die ". I said in a cold tone. I then get up, walking to my desk.

I grab my laptop and walk to the bedroom door. I open the door and walk out, not looking back. I walk down the hall and to the couch. I go around the table and onto the couch.

Pain. We all go through it.