For Better, For Worse (BWWM) | COMPLETE ✔

✔ Six: "I'm fine"

Justin

"You ready, JB?" Scooter asked as we stood backstage.

I was still a bit nervous, even after having perfomed a few songs already for my big crowd.

It was my first show since the My World tour. 'Believe' had been doing very well. Each song inspired by a memory, a lesson or a dream. My fans received it very well and had been excited about this day for months. I was too.

"Ready." I smiled at Scooter and stopped swaying from side to side.

"Okay, Bieber. Now!" I heard a voice say through my ear piece and I ran onto the stage as 'As long as you love me' started playing.

The crowd went crazy with excitement and it took everything in me to stay focused on my dancing and not spazz over the number of people who believed in me so much.

This was what being alive was all about: being able to live your dream, to find love and change lives.

There was nothing more that I wanted than to live in the moment for a long time. It was everything I dreamed of, all my life, and more.

"We're under pressure
7 billion people in the world tryna fit in
Keep it together
Smile on your face even though your heart is frowning..." I sang.

My girlfriend was in the audience somewhere. Becky. I smiled like an idiot just thinking about her and how much I loved her; how this song was totally about her and I.

"As long as you love me
We could be starving
We could be homeless
We could be broke
As long as you love me
I'll be your platinum
I'll be your silver
I'll be your gold..."

"As long as you... lolololo...lolololololo... love me." I sang softly as I sat under a tree at the park, throwing stones into the duck pond.

That song once held so much meaning...

Do you know how much it sucks to pour your heart out to someone then have them spit in your face and leave you looking like the world's biggest idiot standing at the alter, having spent so much money on a 'dream wedding' that actually didn't happen?

I threw another stone into the water.

I'd survived another night out here. I didn't know when I'd eat again, I didn't know what would become of me if I got asked to leave this park, I didn't know what today had in store for me.

"As long as you love me
We could be starving
We could be homeless
We could be broke
As long as you love me
I'll be your platinum
I'll be your silver
I'll be your gold..." I stood in the middle of the stage, the spotlight over me as the arena darkened, and I sang the chorus over and over with only the beat of the drums playing and the audience singing along with me.

The irony made me want to laugh. I was starving, homeless and broke as fuck with no one to love. The woman I'd written the song for was making babies with my so-called best friend and here I was, forgotten.

You'd think that after having been adored by millions around the world, one person would look at you when you hit rock bottom and be like, 'hey, you look familiar!'. Sometimes I still craved that life. I imagined still being at the top of the charts, having found a new gorgeous woman to splash money on and love, and rub it in Becky's face that she really isn't all that. But I chickened out of the harsh reality that came with being a celebrity and, in turn, ended up with absolutely nothing. Sometimes, when it became too much, I felt tempted to call my mom and pour my heart out. I knew that it would literally kill her if I did that. She'd already accepted that I was gone. Coming back would devastate her.