For Better, For Worse (BWWM) | COMPLETE ✔

✔ Thirty: "Why won't you touch me?" (R)

Liv

As I folded away my brother's clothes, I thought about him and all the memories we shared. I missed him a lot and I wondered if he thought about me too wherever he was. Sometimes I felt like he was around, and other times I just felt regret for the day he got killed trying to be my hero.

Maybe my mom was right. Had we waited for her to drive us or had we stayed in... what was the point of over thinking this? Even if I could change the past, death would find him anyway, at least that's what the weird guy from Men In Black 3 had said.

Justin walked into the the bedroom to tell me that dinner was ready.

I smiled at him and watched as he sat on the bed where I was sitting to put items of Noah's clothing into a box.

"What are you doing with those?" Justin asked me.

"I thought I should declutter the apartment. Somebody needs these clothes more than I do."

"I forgot to thank you for letting me wear your brother's stuff."

"It's okay," I smiled softly, picking up a red Elmo sweater from the pile of clothes that was on the floor.

"You don't talk about him much." Justin said. "What was his name?"

I realised that I'd never really spoken to Justin about Noah. All he knew was how he died.

"Noah," I said, "his name was Noah. He was two years older than me. The golden child who loved math and science and was going to be our family's first medical student. He wanted to be a doctor but I always teased him, saying he'd make a better basketball player."

Justin smiled as he listened to me go on.

"One Christmas, my mom got him this sweater," I chuckled at the memory, "Noah was a huge Sesame Street fan when he was little. He adored Elmo and my mom thought it would be funny to remind him of that time in his life so she got him this. Noah was so embarrassed," I giggled, "but he wore the sweater anyway. 'Like a boss', he'd say."

"He sounds like he was a funny guy."

"He was quite the comedian: always busting out some dance moves at the most random times, pretending to be my boyfriend when guys tried to ask me out... he was overprotective of me."

It got quiet so I put on Noah's large Elmo sweater and stood up to show Justin.

"How do I look?" I striked a pose dramatically.

Justin tried to hide his smile.

I gave him a full turn then started modelling, walking across the room and then finally standing in front of him with my hand on my hip.

"You should keep that sweater." He looked up at me.

I decided I was going to.

In that moment, I got lost in Justin's eyes. This new look of his had finally gotten a hold of me and I felt like I wanted him more than any other time before-- or maybe it was the fact that this feeling had built up within me from the very first time I developed feelings for him.

He looked so innocent but had this edge to him. He was everything I ever dreamed of getting from a guy but, this guy was so...

"Why won't you touch me, Justin?" I asked him as I placed my hands on his shoulders.

My question obviously took him by surprise. His eyebrows shot up and his mouth immediately formed a small 'o', as if he were thinking of a good answer.

"Olivia..." he sighed instead.

"Answer my question." I demanded lightly.

"I... I don't want to hurt you." He closed his eyes briefly and I could see the pain on his face.