Hotwired Freedom - ZM (Title Change)

Chapter 16

~Zayn's P.O.V.~

"Zayn Javadd Malik, I've had it with you!" My mum's loud tone woke me like a slap to the head. Even with the door closed, the edge of her tone told me she was annoyed. She flung the door open and strutted over to me. I rolled onto my back and groaned, covering my head with the pillow. "Zayn you've been home for two weeks now; I want you to go to school."

If she only knew what happened she'd understand why I was feeling this way: like every blow from Carmon sent me within an inch of my death bed. My body weakening and slowing down just to keep me breathing and my heart pumping blood.

"Mum I told you; I don't feel well."

"Right, and how long is that gonna go on for? The rest of your life?" For a long while, there was silence, and it left me wondering if she had left. I lifted my pillow and peeked out. She was still there with her arms crossed, waiting for me to answer. "Look, I know you've been having problems at school, but darling, you can't keep hiding." I sighed letting the pillow cover my vision, pulling me back into darkness. "Are you being bullied?" I flinched slightly as the image of Carmon's fist colliding with my face flashed in the darkness of my closed eyes. My breath hitched and I yanked the pillow off my face, panting and shuddering. I stared at the ceiling breathing deeply and flinched when my mum touched my arm. She jerked her hand away like she'd touched something hot and stared at me with worry and helplessness.

"I'm sorry..." She sighed and looked around my room. "Zayn, just tell me what's wrong, please; I'm worried about you."

"It's nothing. I'm just sick, mum. It'll go away soon," I muttered and turned over, stuffing my pillow under my head and shivered as another chill ran up my spine. Even though I was away from the warehouse I still felt everything as it unfolded, like it stuck to me. My heart, racing through every memory of notion, and in the quietness of the house, I heard it in my ears. Even the weight of how the gun felt in my hand as I raised it to Liam's head.

Liam...

Liam was dead because of me. All his parents knew was he was missing. I had lied to them and said I didn't know where he was. I didn't even know what Carmon's men did with his body.

A loud thud had me sitting up, jerking my head around to find the source. My mom was stooped down by my desk, picking up a book that had fallen off.

"Sorry," she said, placing it back on the desk. "I'm gonna drop the girls off at school, then I'm going to work." She came over to me like she was gonna hug me. I pulled back and she paused, giving me another pitied look. "I'll see you later darling," she sighed before leaving.

I plopped back onto my side, cuddling into my covers and stared at the curtains on my window. The dimness of the lighting outside made it look like it was afternoon or even close to having a storm. I should have been the one taking my sisters to school. But what Carmon said before he let me leave stuck in my brain like it was burned there with a hot iron.

"Next time you think of leaving, remember how he looked."

I groaned and hid my face on my pillow wanting every memory from that day to permanently be sliced away. The only way I knew how to escape the memories was sleep, but even then someone else was haunting me.

Taivy.

Even when she said she cared, I doubted it. She said she hit me to keep me safe but I could tell something was off like she was lying. Maybe she only wanted to hurt me even more because of how I treated Liam.

When it wasn't Taivy haunting my dreams, it was Liam, crying out for help. I never thought I'd find myself killing an innocent kid. Hell, I was just a kid myself. I clenched my eyes and my fist trying to rid the image of Liam being dragged out of the room like he was nothing but a sack of potatoes, smearing of blood across the floor in long streaks.