NICOTINE || Alex Ramos

Chapter 30

Song for this chapter: You Should Know Where I'm Coming From by Banks

"Aye, sweet tits. Someone is on the phone for you." I heard him refer to the girl that meant a bit too much to me. The girl I sat here and worried about for hours on end while she was cuddling up to some hunky college guy doing God knows what else. I heard her tired grumble, the one that I knew a little too well before he interrupted my thoughts. "She isn't gonna wake up, I'll tell her you called in the morning." He assured me. "Actually, it's fine. It wasn't important." I left it at that and hung up.

Sarah's P.O.V
I was startled awake by Toni shaking me. I sat up, holding my pounding head with my cold hands. "What the fuck." I grumbled, studying the unfamiliar room and the random, shirtless dude beside me.

"We have class in about an hour and I haven't even slept." She quietly admitted.

I tried my best to focus on her but my head was aching and drawing all of my attention.

I stood up in search of my pants as she stood there giving me "that" look.

"Did you two-?" she smirked, gesturing between me and the sleeping stranger.

"I don't even know." I sighed.

My chest stole the ache from my head and I turned the opposite direction, hiding the twitching and scrunching of my heart broken face.

I spotted my pants towards the corner of the room and made my way towards them.

I used everything in me to hold in the tears that were forcing their way out my eyes, but it wasn't working.

I kneeled down to retrieve my pants and I ended up sitting on the carpeted floor, having a complete breakdown.

"Sarah? Are you- Are you crying?" Toni made her way towards me, her hand resting on my back.

"I fucking miss him, dude." I spoke as I smeared the left over makeup from my eyes.

"I'm not trying to be a bitch, but we really need to go." she grabbed my arm as she noticed the guy in the bed waking up.

We got to our room 15 minutes before class started and I quickly changed my clothes, wiped off my makeup, and covered myself in perfume. After I finished, I was left with 10 minutes to get there.

"I'm sorry that I couldn't comfort you about that, we can talk about it all later. I just don't want you late on your first day." Toni assured me as we walked.

"Don't worry, it's honestly fine. I was just hungover and emotional, I'm totally over it." I couldn't even trick myself with that lie.

-

My first day went by pretty quickly once I was able to focus and keep my mind of other things not pertaining to my work.

Instead of meeting back up with Toni afterwards, I decided to leave campus and wander around the town.

I stopped at random stores that I thought would interest me, but as the day passed, my mind remained clustered with thoughts and I wasn't able to pay attention to anything besides them.

"Hey," A voice was able to disconnect me from my own mess of a head. I looked at the stranger with confusion and he continued to speak.

"Oh I'm sorry. I'm Chance, from last night." He held out his hand for me to shake, I hesitantly reached for it.

"Are you the mysterious guy from the bed?" I lightly joked. "Then I guess you were the mysterious girl." he returned the joke.

"I guess so." I forced an awkward smile. I left it at that with no other intention to continue with the conversation.

"So did we um-?" he asked me, scratching the back of my neck.

"I don't know, I was hoping you would know." I admitted, my face beyond morbid.

"Damn, well what's your number so we maybe one time we actually can." his words made me cringe as I thought of another man's touch that wasn't Alex's.

"No, thank you." I quietly spoke before exiting the small shop I was in.

"Wait," he followed me out, stopping me in my tracks. "Can we at least hang out some time?" he almost begged.

"Like I said before, no thank you." I technically repeated myself.

"Why not?" He was starting to get on my nerves and my tension wasn't helping.

"Would you just back off? I'm not in the right state of mind right now, seriously just leave me be. Jesus, I'm not a fucking prostitute." I snapped.

"That's what they all say." he remarked.

I was seconds away from slapping him but I'm not asking for a reputation on my first week here.

-

The sun had just set when I got back to the room and Toni clearly wasn't there.

I laid on my bed and scrolled through my phone.

"When did Alex call me?" I questioned myself as I studied my call list.

I didn't talk to him, did I? It says I answered it but I don't remember anything relating to this situation.

My pained chest got the best of me and my fingers pressed the call button before I even had the chance to think it over.

It rang 3 times and he clearly rejected it, my face fell as I realized this truly was the end of us and it was all my fault.

Maybe my drunken self said something I wasn't supposed to last night. If I don't even remember him calling, I sure as hell won't be able to remember what was said. I obviously fucked something else up too.

I don't even understand why I miss him after the shit he said to me, but that's Alex. He never thinks about what he says, and then his secretly big heart drags you right back in because he finally thinks about what he did wrong.

That call was probably him realizing it and I messed it up, I ruined it all.

I ruined his possible apology and now if there isn't a way to get him to talk to me, then there's nothing I can do about making things right.

A/N: I know this chapter took me way too long. I've been having horrible writer's block so I know this has been dragging. But I have a legitimate reason, okay? Alex called me on hushed on March 13, 2016 so Ripperoni to me. Forgive me, babes. I love you!