NICOTINE || Alex Ramos

Chapter 31

Song for this chapter: Something's Gotta Give by All Time Low

That call was probably him realizing it and I messed it up, I ruined it all. I ruined his possible apology and now if there isn't a way to get him to talk to me, then there's nothing I can do about making things right.

Lauren's P.O.V
Without Sarah here, everything is unusually different. Alex and I are finally hanging out for the first time in a while, and we haven't really heard from Will in a few weeks besides pointless, meaningless texts.

It's started to seem like Sarah was the one that held us all together and she truly was. She was always there to keep me and Will on our feet and now we're not even together. She of all things finally figured out how to get Alex to smile in life, now she's gone and so is his smile.

Alex was in the passenger seat as I continued to drive finding somewhere to go. We just left the mall and we were debating on if we should go out to eat.

I've been driving around for over half of an hour, waiting for Alex to figure out what the hell he wants to do.

As we drove passed a park, Alex moved to the edge of his seat and said "Is that Will?"

I slowed down to follow his gaze and sure enough seen Will behind the tall, chain-linked sports fence.

I pulled into the gravel filled parking lot, the grains making obnoxious noises against the car's tires.

"Oh shit." Alex sounded shocked as I put the car in park.

I followed his eyes once more to see some girl making her way towards the guy I was still madly and deeply in love with.

"Lauren, don't." Alex grabbed my arm as I went to step out of the car.

I pulled away from him, holding mixed emotions towards what I'm seeing.

He's smiling, he's laughing, he's happy, and he's not with me.

I made my way towards the fence, the texture of the ground uncomfortable at the soles of my shoes as Alex just remained standing by the car.

He sees me, he noticed me. His face is showing so many different expressions I can't figure out what he's feeling.

"Lauren? What are you doing here?" He sounded like he was taken by surprise with a tad of evident guilt.

"I was driving past and I seen you." I feel awkward, I feel shy, I want to scream.

"Who is she?" I used my head to gesture to the stranger that's eyes were on me.

"It doesn't matter." He looked down at his feet.

"So you're over me?" I questioned, the grip on my heart tightening.

"I never said that." He spoke, the grip slightly loosening.

"I don't even know what happened between us, we just lost contact and we just left each other to sit around wondering what the fuck we were. I gave up, Lauren. I tried to get back out there in life." His words tighten the grip to an extreme and it finally shattered.

"I didn't mean to do what I did to you, I'm sorry, Will. I'm so fucking sorry." I held in the tears as best as I could but it was no use.

"Hey," his voice held sympathy for me and his eyes met with mine, he intertwined his fingers with mine through the fence.

"If things aren't meant to be, it's not anyone's fault, it was meant to happen. It just means there is something better out there planned for us and it doesn't involve us being together." His words stomped on the already shattered pieces of my heart.

"We cant just end things like this, Will. We've been together for years, we can't just stop everything now. I didn't break it off before because we are so good together and I didn't wanna lose that, I didn't want to lose you." My tears stung my eyes as he inhaled a sharp breathe breaking our eye contact.

"It took the ending of our relationship for me to realize that I love you, but I do, I really really do and I just want to start over. Please can we just start over?" He removed his fingers from mine, leaving my hand alone on the metal.

Teary eyed, he glanced up at me once more and said "Thanks for the apology, I appreciate it, but I can't do this. I'm not some toy that you can just throw around." He left it at that, walking off in the direction of the lucky girl he chose over me.

He acted as though he didn't want me to see him cry. "Will, come on." I sobbed, painfully gripping the metal pattern, not even sure if he could hear me anymore.

He was far away now, but still right beside her.

I turned around walking back to my car but I seen Alex making his way towards me and I couldn't help but to run to him and break down in his arms.

"Hey, hey, hey it's okay. It's gonna be okay." I cried against his chest as he held my head.

"It's not going to be okay, it hurts." I was so overwhelmed that I almost forgot how to breathe.

I tried catching my breath, hardly listening to what Alex was saying to me.

"...it to may have ended, but that doesn't necessarily mean it's the end. If you two people truly love each other, they'll find a way back to how it was when they were together. Things don't always go as planned at times, but completely giving up never does any good." The sound in his voice made me realize how selfish I was.

He wasn't just pulling these words out of his ass, he learned it from experience.

The tone of his voice was convincing. The only problem was he wasn't trying to convince me... he was trying to convince himself.

Convince himself that him and Sarah still have a chance, the chance of them finding each other again.

"You love her, don't you?" I separated my face from his chest.

The look on his face proved he knew exactly what I was talking about.

"I never even told her the truth, I never told her." He let out a breath of regret, unable to even keep eye contact with me.

A/N: Hello my loves, I know this was a pretty emotional chapter. And sorry to all the Lill fans, because I kinda forgot they existed for a bit haha. I'm leaving to Washington D.C. tomorrow morning for a school trip, so there won't be anymore updates this week. Wish me luck, love you guys. 😚