(Fairy Tail) Dragon Children ~ Editing

~12~ Fantasia

"You're not going to participate in the Fantasia Parade again?" Mira whined a bit because I was one of the few with few injuries and could participate in the festival.

"I'm waiting, Mira. I'm still waiting." I laughed and petted her hair before she huffed and walked off to join the parade.

I went back to my spot high up on the roof.

The parade went by; the Miss Fairy Tail contestants; Natsu and Happy in their not really a float, float; Erza with her sword dances; Grey and Juvia in an ice and water castle; Elfman in full-body take-over; a whole array of floats passed by and I just watched in my spot like always.

Gramps gave the signal from back when we were children, the signal that Laxus made up to tell Gramps that he would always be watching for Gramps.

Now it was Gramps' turn to do the same and just as Laxus had his back turned might I add.

Laxus quickly did a double take and saw everybody following Gramps' lead. Then his head turned my way, back to our old seats.

I smiled sadly at him and waved slowly, getting up just as slowly and showing him our signal.

He turned around and started walking away instantly.

Even if I can't see you, no matter how far away you may be, I will always be watching you. Always looking out for you. I don't care if this came out in a creepy way, because no matter how creepy it may sound, I will always care for him.

I knew what had happened and what can and cannot be done.

I can simply watch him walk away, thinking that he hasn't changed; but then I would be lying to myself.

Sure, he isn't the same Laxus from over 10 years ago, but no one is ever the same from 10 years ago.

We all grow up. We make mistakes, we choose different paths, and inevitably, we all change.

To ourselves, we seem to remain as we were, are, and always will be; but think about it. Truly think about it, every day we change, for better or worse is only what we can decide.

Every day we meet new people, do new things, learn new things, and that becomes a part of us; it changes us and we are molded by it.

We are molding our own future selves, and truthfully; we don't become what everyone expects, because we become what we have expected of ourselves.

We are carving our own paths, and it isn't always the best one to choose from; Laxus would be a perfect example of the good kid gone bad through the bad path.

Not wrong path, just the bad and destructive one. The one that clouded his judgement and lose sight of what he used to belive in, what he used to dream of.

Truthfully, I had expected Laxus to go back to being similar to how he was several years ago and now that it's happened, he's become kind and caring once again; and I can't go after him.

I can't run up to him and hug him.

I can't tell him I still love him after all of these years.

I can't be with my best friend.

It's not the fact that Gramps kicked out his own grandson from the guild that they both cherished so much. No, it was something simpler and less disastrous in terms of the town.

Laxus is leaving and I don't know how to stop him.

I can't stop him.

I can only watch him leave. Again...

Again.

I'm not bold. I'm not courageous. I'm only serious when I need to be. I can never be able to voice out my feelings for him. To never be able to tell the one you love, that you love them.

Not until it's too late, and I always do it when it's too late.

And now it's too late...

I can't tell him I love him.

My heart was breaking again simply by watching him leave. Watching him walk away from me once more.

I never wanted him to leave. I never wanted anything to change between us, and now there isn't even anything between us anymore.

I could never admit it to anyone; never Gramps, nor Mira, Erza, Natsu, or anyone close to me.

I couldn't even admit it to myself.

I've fallen head over heels for Laxus Dreyar.

He has a part of my heart, mind, and soul; even if he doesn't know that.

Maybe if I could do things over again, then I'd be able to even stop all of this from happening.

Maybe.

Maybe...

But in the end, I can't even do that.

In the end, the only thing I can do is watch him walk away from me.

In the end, I'm losing my best friend all over again.

Because in the end, I simply can't accept the idea of having to go through all of this again.

All of the drama, the fighting, the arguing, the heart breaks, and the lost.

If I could re-do this moment. This exact moment right now. If I could turn back time by even a minute, I know what I would do.

I know how I would re-write that one minute of history.

I will be able to gather my courage and go to him.

I wouldn't simply watch him walk away, not until it was too late; just like before and just like right now.

No, not again. This time, I would confront him before it was too late.

I would tell him how much I loved him. How I've missed him. How I didn't want him to leave.

I didn't want him to leave.

But in the end, I can't.

I can't turn back time.

I can't gather my courage.

I can't confront him.

I can't tell him how much I love him.

I can't stop him from leaving.

Most importantly, I can't stop making excuses.

Can.

Can't.

Won't.

All just words.

Words that can't change anything.

Nothing can change the fact that he's left.

Nothing can change the fact that I'm too scared to go after him. Even after all we've been together, all the goods and bads of life; the ups and downs; the friendship we shared.

I just.

I just...

No.

I just can't.