If I Stay

Chapter 19

I didnt know what to do. Do I say 'I love you back'? Or do I just stand here & look at him like an idiot. I blink my eyes & smile.

"I love you too, Jc." He leans in, & kisses me, his lips pulling into a smile as he does. My heart starts beating faster and faster. Its never done this before. Its never fluttered around in my chest.

He glides his tongue into my mouth, his breath tasting of mints. I giggle, tugging at his swim trunks. "They bug me. Take them off." He breaks the kiss, looking around as he starts slipping his trunks off. There were a couple of people on the beach, but we were the only ones in this area. I bite my lip as he throws his trunks behind him, his boner on the surface of the water.

He starts kissing me down my neck & onto my collar bone. "Babe." I say, realizing something. "Babe!" I say again, nudging him off. He reaches down in the water & pulls up his trunks. "Im still a virgin." I say, ashamed.

I was worried he would laugh at me & break up with me, but he put my hands in his. "And thats perfectly fine. If you want your first time to be special, I understand." He smiles, wrapping his arm around my waist.

I did want my first time to be special. I want it to be with HIM. He's my everything, my world. But did he want to have sex with me? I mean, think about it. What if Im just another 'hump & dump'? I dont want that to happen.

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When Jc dropped me off at home, he reassured me about my first time, & that I should really think about it because its very important. Im glad he's here to actually help me through a thing like this.

"Im home!" I say, walking into the house. I hear glass shatter in the kitchen, & someone yelling. "Mom?" I shout, running into the kitchen. What I saw is something I may never forget; Ricky was towering over my sister, his hand sliced open from the glass. He looked angry.

"Whats going on?!" I ask, my voice shaking. Ricky looks at me, his face almost red. "This little bitch dropped the glass cup, & it cut my hand!" He yells, pointing at her. I look down at Nalla, who was on the ground, tears staining her chubby cheeks.

"Come here." I order Nalla. She gets up & runs behind me. "What has gotten into you!" I scream, walking up to him. He looks down at me.

This was familiar. Very familiar. Its as if he hasnt lost his memory, as if he was his old abusive self again. I raise my hand, but stop myself. If thats the case, then I should just walk away. Hitting him would result in him beating me up.

"Get out." I say, looking at him with such disgust. I hear Nalla whimper. "Its okay, Al. Its okay." I say gently. I rub her back. "I said GET OUT." I yell again. I hear him shuffle out of the house, the door slamming behind him.