a messy canvas

Scarecrow [Tronnor]

Days which were cascaded by rain were his favorite. Something about the dreary atmosphere lifted his poor spirits, because not much in life worked in his favor. Ever since he was the young age of seven, Connor Franta's existence was nothing to boast over, with occasions of spit venom amongst his parents causing their marriage to fall apart at the seams.

They ending up filing for a divorce mere days after his ninth birthday. After that last attempt by his parents to put aside their differences for the sake of their children, the boy would never see the world with bursting innocence as they should have tried to preserve. Instead shadows engulfed the child's vision where relationships were never meant last, only to be destroyed piece by piece.

When the considered acceptable timespan for Connor to adjust to the shift in his life passed and no sudden epiphany took place, those surrounding the boy simply gave up on him. It was those wounds from his childhood that remained everlasting on shaping who he grew up to be.

Now at sixteen, being alone was like second nature for Connor. In those days where the raindrops made their connection with his lonely soul, he was reminded that their intentions would remain consistent; to bring him the company he always lacked. On this particular Thursday, the settlement was needed immensely.

Call him strange, but Connor recalled the exact day when the divorce was finalized. This in his eyes brought about the greatest significance that the Franta household would never be the same again. It was January 21st, which just so happened to be today. You'd think seven years would heal the sting of that bitterly cold day, yet it was still as fresh as could be in his memory.

The raindrops cried his tears for him over the anniversary of sorts. Instead of letting his feelings be showcased for everyone to tease, Connor's way of coping was to silently observe his fellow peers and bring himself to think in their mindsets rather than his own.

"Of course I decide to wear white when it fucking rains.."

"I wonder if the clouds are producing the tears of God..if so what could make Him so sad?"

"Ms. Walter is the worst human being I've ever came in contact with.."

"Joe's party this weekend better make up for last time."

Just as he was becoming absorbed in the task, the blare of the school bell drilled through his ears, breaking any sense of serenity he had built up.

Maybe he was silly, following through with the same routine each year this dreaded day came around. This field where the sunflowers would grow in the summer brought back so many good memories of him though, why would he abandon it? His father had thought he was delusional the second year he ran off here, saying how 'he shouldn't mourn something that was good for their family as if someone he loved dropped dead'. He never really understood Connor's actions after the divorce anyway, so when his behavior didn't change as the years went by Peter simply grew to leave him be.

Something about the scenery didn't sit right with him this time. Usually he would spend hours upon end delving into the workings of his mind, for this was the only day he really allowed himself that luxury. But right now, sitting on the damp grass and looking across the sky at the dark gray clouds fading away didn't bring any tung towards his emotions.

He was numb inside. Why wasn't his remedy working its magic like it had accomplished for so long? With a tired sigh, Connor picked up his well worn baby blue canvas backpack and headed where he knew these bottled up frustrations could be opened. Even if it wasn't the method he was truly seeking, the purpose would be fulfilled all the same.

The house was empty to his surprise. Usually the Franta home was bursting with mayhem, now the only noise around was the rain, which made its return a few blocks before Connor reached the front door. 

"Even my own family doesn't want to be around me.." he mumbled under his breath as he climbed up the stairs to his bedroom.

Photography was his outlet, a way of expressing himself in such a manner he could never achieve with words. So when he brought his Canon camera towards his bedroom window, the last image he would have thought he'd capture was Troye Sivan standing in on the sidewalk amongst the rain, beaming at the sight of Connor's acknowledgement.

"What the hell?" Connor blurted out as he tossed the camera on his bed and bolted outside to find out Troye's reasoning for coming.

"Troye?"

"Uh, hey Connor."

"What are you doing here, I thought that.."

"I know it's been a long time, but I just wanted to say that I never forgot about you."

"We haven't spoken to each other in years and now all of a sudden you want to act like we're best friends again?" Connor remarked, confusion apparent on his face. "You and I drifted apart when we were twelve, you found better people to associate yourself with."

"You're kidding right?" Troye replied. "I've tried to catch your attention for years, I know life's been unkind to you Con and I've wanted to help you but you're the one who won't let me in."

"So what do you want from me?"

"Can we go inside and talk before we both get sick from being out here?"

"I-I guess." Connor agreed as he took Troye's hand as they both got inside the warmth of the Franta house.

Now equipped with towels for their damp hair, Troye started the conversation back up again as he took a seat in Connor's desk chair.

"After your parents' divorce was finalized I knew something about you had changed, you weren't the bubbly, endlessly optimistic Connor I l-loved, so I thought you needed space to adjust to such a change." Troye admitted. "I wanted you to be comfortable, so I waited for you to talk to me again."

"Troye.." Connor began to speak up.

"I'm almost done." Troye interrupted softly. "So when you never did I tried to move on, but everywhere I would just see you and how..lost you seemed to be and all I wanted to do was be there for you but I figured you didn't want me around so I wasn't.."

"I'm sorry I made you feel that way Troye, I never meant for that to happen it just kinda did." Connor replied honestly. "When my parents split, I lost who I was, I couldn't bring myself to believe in any kind of relationship that wouldn't fall apart, and I didn't want you to change because of me."

"I have an idea.."

"What do you have in mind?"

"We'll help each other believe in one another whole heartedly again and prove that relationships can last."

"I don't know Troye.."

"Just think about this alright, you didn't have to come outside to talk to me as I stood out there like a scarecrow but you did."

"Yeah.."

"So what do you say?"

"Okay scarecrow, I'll try to believe in you and me." Connor agreed with a smile as Troye engulfed him in a hug out of pure excitement.

As it turns out, believing in them was the best decision he ever made. For after that Troye helped restore what he had lost and it was with that Connor was able to show that he would never leave him again.