a messy canvas

All or Nothing [Phan]

It was always all or nothing.

Spitting words out like wildfire or going over feelings from only the comforts of his mind.

Sharing details of his makings in overly extreme measures or keeping his scrapbook of experiences under lock and key.

Surrounding himself with every being imaginable to gain a sense of satisfaction or falling into a dreadful state at the mere idea of speaking with others.

He was either the center of his world or left at the edges begging for a chance to catch his breath.

There was nothing Phil could do when his best friend dropped from one stage to the next, for in these perspectives Dan mastered there was no such thing as a gray area.

No matter how much Phil wished he could help him get away from these consuming switches, all he could manage to contribute was standing strong through the motions of Dan's changes from one to the next.

Dan would never be capable of expressing his gratitude, seeing as the swirls of chaos always overwhelmed him. How Phil remained alongside him all this time, through each and every messy expression, would forever be beyond his comprehension. This above all threw his system for a loop, even more so than the pulses he endured of giving everything he possessed to having nothing left to offer.