Completely Unexpected (Danisnotonfire and AmazingPhil)

Chapter forty two

Chapter forty two

    I ran all the way back to my apartment, I unlocked the door, and flung myself in threw the door of my bedroom. The first thought I had was ‘I have to change’. Something a little bit nicer than a pair of jeans and a hoodie. Obviously there’s nothing wrong with a pair of jeans and a hoodie, that’s what I normally wore, but right now I was aiming to dress to impress.

    I stripped down completely, I even changed my underwear. I always felt much sexier if I knew I was wearing sexy underwear, even though it was underneath all my clothes and no one knew about it but me. Didn’t even know if it was necessary, I thought most likely not, but I’m a just-in-case type of person. I put on a skin hugging purple V-neck top with quarter length sleeves and my favorite pair of black skinny jeans. I threw on a sweatshirt; the weather was getting really cold lately.  Gathering my keys and my phone I raced out the door and locked it behind me.

    I knew exactly where I was headed and walked with determination. When I reached the apartment building I walked up to the telecom system. Right then a woman opened the door and walked out.

    “Are you going in here dear?” she asked holding the door open for me.

    “Oh, yes thank you” I thanked her while slipping in.

    “No problem” she said before releasing the door behind me to close.

    I jogged lightly up the stairs and found the apartment I was looking for easily. I took a deep breath before ringing the door bell and waiting for someone to open up. After a minute or so I heard some shuffling form inside the door, then the door swung open and Phil was standing in front of me.

    “Hey, Sarah” he greeted a little surprised.

    “Hey, Phil” I said and hugged him quickly.

    “Um I’m glad you’ve come to your senses. He’s in his room”

    “You’re the best Phil” I said before scurrying down the hall to the door to Dan’s room.

    I knocked on the door and heard a faint “Go away Phil” from inside. Instead of listening to the request I slowly tuned the handle and opened the door. Dan was sitting on his bed in what looked like the most uncomfortable position ever with his laptop on his lap. He looked horrible, he had huge bags under his eyes, like he hadn’t slept for days, and on the bedside table next to him was a giant, almost finished package of Maltesers.

    “I said go away” he repeated irritably. When I didn’t move he looked up at me and realized I wasn’t Phil.

    “Oh, I thought I heard the bell ring, it was you. So, what do you want then?” he greeted.

    “Hello to you too Daniel” he groaned, I knew he didn’t like being called Daniel, but he didn’t exactly give me the warmest welcome either. Ok Sarah, I thought to myself, focus on why you’re here. “I came to apologize”

    “Sure took you long enough” he retorted, looking back down at his computer screen.

    “Don’t give me that, I’m trying to apologize here!” he grunted and I continued “I’m really sorry, I lead you on and then I was too scared and uncertain about my feelings to follow through”

    For a while Dan didn’t say anything, just kept scrolling down the website he was browsing. After a minute or so he shut the screen and finally spoke “I just don’t understand how you could’ve been confused”

    “Well, that’s what I’m here to explain, if you’ll let me?”

    “Go on”

    “Ok, well first I thought it was Benjamin confusing me” I could tell he winced at Benjamin’s name “I thought that he was using my old feelings for him to manipulate me into forgiving him. And then when he kissed me” at that Dan looked up at me with what looked like part shock and part jealousy “when he kissed me it felt wrong, but at the same time it felt really right and safe, because it was something that I knew. And I know that that sounds stupid, I mean how could it feel safe when I knew he had hurt me before the way he did? But it and to begin with I thought it was because he was using my old feelings for him, which in reality were gone a long time ago. I mean we had a really good relationship for a really long time, and I thought that I was just longing to have that good, long, safe relationship back. But I was talking to Anna about this, and she saw something I didn’t. You see, it wasn’t actually about Benjamin at all” at this point I checked to see if Dan was still paying attention. The explanation had ended up a little longer than I had planned, but I wanted it to come out right so he didn’t misunderstand.

    Dan was looking up at me; he had put away his computer now and had turned his whole body toward me, listening intently. 

    I took a seat next to him on the bed, still keeping my distance, and continued the explanation “See what Anna saw which I didn’t was that actually I was just afraid. See, I was so hurt after Benjamin broke up with me and again when I found out why that for some reason I was afraid that it would happen again with you. So, I was scared, and even if I knew that the likelihood of him hurting me again was greater than the likelihood of you ever hurting me, I guess I felt I could handle it better if he hurt me again than if someone else did. And the worst part is that it hurt almost just as much the second time, but at least now I’ve learned my lesson and know who to forgive and who never to forgive”

    “Sarah” he started in a sympathetic voice, but I cut him off.

    “Just here me out ok? I was an idiot, and I wasn’t thinking, or I was, but my thinking was messed up. I know you would never hurt me and I have no idea why I would ever think so. Actually I do know why, because you are an amazing person with tons of fame and I know how you always say that you are really awkward and stuff, but look how easily you roped me inn. I was scared that I wasn’t good enough for you because you could have anyone in the world”

    Dan looked at me a little goofily, I guess because of that last comment.

    “In the end it was me who ended up hurting you, and I’m sorry. Because you didn’t deserve that, just because I was being stupid and not seeing how good you were being to me. You deserve better than a stupid girl who forgives her cheating ex-boyfriend before even giving you a chance”

    “Are you done now?” he asked, I could see he had something on his mind that he wanted to share.

    “Yeah, I think so”

    “Ok, um my turn. I liked you from the second I saw you in that Starbucks. I tried being friends with you at first, but I always knew that wasn’t going to work out because the more time I spent with you the more feelings I started to develop for you” I wondered where this was going, it could either end really bad or really good, I was hoping for the latter “I was so jealous when your ex-boyfriend came into the picture, but I kept on going, because I knew I was better for you than he was and that you would eventually realize that. When we kissed I was over the moon and then when you broke it up because of him I was furious, for a long time” he ended there, I didn’t quite know what that meant, but by then I had more to say.

    “You know I’ve wanted to be with you for three years, and then I stupidly mess it up when I get the chance. When you left on Sunday I cried for ever, because that was the last thing I wanted. And when I walked away from Benjamin earlier, after he hurt me for the second time in the same way, I also cried. But I didn’t cry because I knew I was losing him, I felt nothing for him at all, I cried because I suddenly realized that I might have ruined my chances with you. And I didn’t know how I could be so incredibly blind and stupid. I came here as soon as I could and when found you here in this state I immediately knew that you were everything I wanted, but also that you deserved better than me”

    [A/N]: New chapter, I was originally going to have this chapter and the next one be one chapter, but it ended up being too long, so I cut it off in the middle here, kinda makes for a good cliff hanger though. Anyway, I really hope you like it, this chapter basically sums up everything Sarah has been feeling and strugling with throughout the story since Benjamin returend to her life. There will only be 44 chapters, so we are nearing the end now.

    The secual will probably not be up for a little while, I have started writing it, but I want to get a little further along before I put it out and I need to make a cover, and there has been a few technical difficulties in that regard. But I promis it will be up as soon as possible.

    If you have any feedback as alwas leave it in a comment bellow, and if you really liked the chapter please vote.