Magic || larry

08

Harry curses as he jumps from bed. He woke up later and that means Ricky is up without breakfast and that means they're going to fight. And Harry is just tired of fighting.

He runs from their room and stops when he sees Ricky calmly drinking his coffee and a new set of plates on the table. Harry slowly walks over and gently touched the box.

"I thought you'd like new ones because I broke one yesterday. Did you like your sleep in?" Ricky asks, his voice smooth and gentle. Harry just feels relief that there won't be a fight but he doesn't feel the normal joy of receiving a gift. He just feels like he's being bought.

"Yeah I did, thank you. Anything special you want for dinner tonight?" Harry asks. He moves to lean against the counter and Ricky watches him like he's stalking prey.

"No. Just cook something you enjoy. I'm going to get going to work," the man tells him. He stands and walks over to the sink to place his mug down. Harry just looks over and watches him.

"Can I have a kiss before I leave?" Ricky asks. Harry nods and he moves forward and leaves a small kiss to his lips. Ricky just sighs at how short it is but doesn't get angry. "I love you. Remember that."

"I love you too. Have a good day at work," Harry tells him. He watches as the man walks to the door and leaves and his chest feels hallow. He doesn't understand why he can't be more for him. Harry can't do anything right and he just wants Ricky to love him so much and he always messes it up. He always asks for too much or does what he's not supposed to. He just wants to be perfect so he doesn't have to watch the man he's so in love with just detach from him.

Harry wants to go back to when he was in that home and Ricky would hold him and promise to take care of him. He wants to go back to their nights of hidden bliss where the man would give and not just take. When he seemed to really be in love with Harry even though the boy was shattered and lost. He misses the kisses and dates and the smiles. He replays his memories and how amazing it all was. He thought he'd found someone to care for him, found someone his mother said he never would. And he can't even keep him. His mother was right about everything.

He sniffles as a tear gently cascades down his cheek and he's so tired of crying every morning. He just wants Ricky to walk back through the door and hold him. He wants to please the man in every way he can be pleased and yet he doesn't. He also wants to give up but doing that would break him all over again.

There's a knock on his door and he knows who it is without looking. He just walks over and pulls the door open. Louis smiles at him and Harry just turns to walk back inside. Louis trails after him and Harry hears him take off his shoes.

"I'm going to shower. You can watch tv," Harry sighs. He can't bring himself to be cheery right now and he doesn't wait for Louis' reply as he closes the washroom door. A shower will help him. He'll feel better and whole.

He strips out of his clothes and turns on the water. He waits for it to warm up before he climbs in and the spray hits his skin and makes him shiver at the warmth. All of his shampoos smells of vanilla or coconut or flowers. He loves though smells but he decides to use Ricky's. He wants to smell the man on his skin and the scent brings tears to his eyes. Why can't he just love him like he used to?

He rinses off the suds and then climbs back out and grabs a towel. He dries his hair and his body, slipping back on his pants so he doesn't have to strut out of the washroom naked in front of Louis. He brushes his teeth while he's in here and then he leaves. Louis looks over as the door opens and he gives the boy a smile which Harry just nods at.

"I'm going to put on clothes and then I'll come out so we can make brownies," Harry tells him.

"Take your time. We don't have to bake them if you're not up for it," Louis says softly. Harry closes his eyes at the soft sound and he's so jealous of the person Louis will end up with. The man is never mean or vicious. He's going to make someone so happy one day and Harry hopes they don't break him like his love does. He prays Louis never has to feel inadequate.