Magic || larry

20

The days at Louis' are unusual and Harry doesn't know how to act. He still feels like his heart has been ripped from his chest and his eyes are always swollen from shed tears that leak into his pillow at night. He's been trying to do what he knows best: cooking and cleaning.

The problem with that is that every time he picks up someone else's mess they tell him to leave it or not worry about it and they have a cooking schedule in this house. Each person takes a turn cooking on their designated night.

The only time it's ever lonely is when they all leave for school and sometimes work. Harry notices how Louis seems to work the most. He works most nights which Harry never noticed because he never got to spend nights with him before. The boy is also constantly studying and writing papers and reading books.

Harry has never before felt useless. A burden yes but not useless. They all seem to have a routine that they love to follow and he has no way to fit into it and help.

Without anything to do he's left with just looking out the window. Watching each day as Ricky gets into his car and drives to work, not glancing in his direction. He watches as he comes home and the man seems relaxed like nothing has changed. Maybe it hasn't for him. Maybe life is better without Harry there to constantly be in his way.

Harry's chest feels right as he thinks about Ricky bringing Sarah to sleep in their bed, her wearing his big shirts and maybe her child going to play in the backyard. What if Ricky loves her better? What if they get married and laugh about how pathetic he was? His chest tightens more at the idea of Ricky screaming at her in front of her baby. Screaming at the baby and throwing things. Was he just mean to Harry or will he be mean to every person who tries to love him?

Maybe Harry didn't try enough with him. He could've talked to him more, loved him more. He could've listened instead of crying. He could've not left and proven his love by sticking by his side. It's not like they didn't have good memories. Ricky could be loving. The potential was all there.

Harry startles when the door opens, revealing a nervous Louis. His eyes scan over Harry's face and Harry knows he's taking in his tears and his position by the window. He knows he looks weak and stupid but Louis doesn't say anything about it.

"I'm off work tonight so I'm cooking... Do you want to come help me? Liam and Niall are at work and Sophia is in her room so it's just me and you," Louis' voice is never harsh. It's always warm and gentle like the perfect summer breeze on the beach and he has the eyes to watch.

Harry considers his offer. He barely leaves his room. Barely eats in general and his sleeping pattern is all over the place from his naps. He needs to get out of this room and not just to go to the washroom.

He slowly nods his head and his breathing catches briefly as Louis smiles and it lights up everything around him. Summer breeze voice, ocean blue eyes and a sunshine smile. Louis was summer personified. He was the peak of growth and happiness and just warmth. He was Harry's favourite season wrapped up inside a beautiful shell.

"What are you making?" Harry asks, his voice scratchy but sounding stronger. He always finds his voice when he's with Louis. The boy seems to draw it out of him.

"Dino nuggets and smiley fries," Louis cheers and to both their surprises Harry laughs. It's not a full laugh but it's the first one he's given since he's left.

"You need my help with that?" Harry asks, his brow raised. They've walked down the stairs and to the kitchen. Harry remembers meeting Louis in this very room. His eyes not ever wanting to leave his face.

"I do. Someone has to keep me company while we wait for the timer," Louis clarifies and Harry can feel his stomach knot slightly.

"I'm not great company right now," Harry whispers, watching Louis pull the frozen food from the freezer. Louis lays it on the counter and looks at Harry, his face so familiar now and yet so shockingly stunning.

"I think you're always great company. I wouldn't ask for it if I didn't," Louis tells him.

It's the sincerity in every compliment he gets from Louis. The tone of voice he uses that Harry always dreamed a man would direct at him. The look in his eyes every time Harry enters a room. It's just the way Louis is with him and only him that breaks the dam and Harry starts to sob. This man cares for him so much and Harry can't give it back. His heart isn't ready for it yet and his brain is telling him to take time. Time doesn't exist for Louis though. Someone so magical is never available for an abundance of time. They're snatched up by people who aren't scared or broken and that's the best. Louis deserves someone who can love him like he can love them. Louis deserves better than Harry. If he wasn't good enough for Ricky than how can he even think about keeping Louis? How can Louis look at him like that and talk to him like that when Ricky couldn't? Louis is better in every way and soon he'll see that and Harry won't let his heart be broken again when that time comes.

"Can I give you a hug? Is that okay?" Louis worries, his body so close now Harry can smell his flowery shampoo. Harry doesn't answer and just moves into his arms. Louis never fails to hold him tight, pushing his broken pieces together every time Harry is in his arms. Harry cuddles closer to him, his tears slowing down as he listens to Louis' steady breathing and feels his arms rub his back.

"Please don't break me," Harry begs because he can't hold it in. He can't let it happen again and Louis needs to know that. Louis needs to know he can't play with Harry at all. Louis is the glue holding him together right now. His small light in his dark days.

"Never. You'll never break," Louis murmurs and Harry snorts, hugging Louis tighter.

"Then what do you call this?" He asks miserably and he feels Louis' lips in his hair, a small kiss that seems to seep through Harry and still his worries.

"Healing. You have a few dents and cracks but you're still whole. You're still okay," Louis promises him. Maybe it's just Louis' arms around him and the smell of his soap and the feel of his soft skin but Harry feels okay in this moment. He feels like maybe he didn't completely shatter when he walked away. Maybe he left a piece of two behind but not all of him. Some of him is still left.

He'll be okay.