Magic || larry

25

Harry got the job at the bakery. He works all the time and gets a rush from waking up earlier than his friends to get on a bus and enter the building at the wee hours of 5 am.

The thrill of having his own thing - without Louis or Ricky or anyone - is just the thing to pull him from his funk. He feels independent and self reliable and grown up. He likes learning to stand on his two feet.

His favourite days though, are the ones where Louis picks him up. The ones where he gets in the car smelling like cake and Louis talks about his day and Harry talks about his. The days they just eat fast food in the car and drive for hours and Louis holds his hand. The simplicity of their relationship strikes Harry as new and wondrous and he never wants it to end.

He's been able - in the last month - to get himself some new clothes and pitch in with rent and groceries. He feels like he's part of the team now and not just intruding on their space. Though he has bigger plans now.

Harry wants to move out. He wants to have a place of his own. He wants his own blankets and cups as pillows and pictures. His own world inside this beautifully cruel one. He needs something to call his own. He needs to keep making himself strong.

A plus to moving away would be Harry is away from Ricky. The last month hasn't stolen his emotions but it's dulled them to a minor ache. He no longer cries about him or spends his waking hours looking out the window for him. Harry can acknowledge the hole in his heart that shrinks each day but will never fully close and he's okay. The acknowledgement doesn't hurt anymore. He's not wounded by what was or what could never be.

Harry is currently sitting outside the bakery, waiting for Louis. He helped Barbara close for the night and the now winter air sinks into his skin and chills him.  His fingers play with the zipper on his new jacket and he looks up at the twilight sky and smiles at the idea that stars will come out soon.

Headlights pour over him and he looks down from the sky and smiles at the sight of Louis in the driver's seat. He hastily walks over to the door and pulls it open, the warmth hitting him like a welcome friend. He shivers at the feeling of hot meeting cold and shuts the door behind him.

"Hey, love," Louis greets him, leaning over and pecking his cheek. Harry smiles at the gesture, his dimples coming out. Sometimes - like right now - he just wants to grab Louis' face and kiss him for hours. He wants to curl up in Louis' bed and explore every inch of him. He wants to lie against his bare chest and listen to his heartbeat against his ear as Louis tells him all his happy stories that Harry no longer resents.

Harry still hasn't kissed him. It's been two months since he's left Ricky and he still hasn't done it. Louis never presses and Harry knows he'll have to be the one to do it. He'll have to be the one to make the decision of whether he wants it or not.

Louis starts to pull the car out of the lot and Harry watches as the lights from the city dance on the window and on Louis' glasses that he wears more. Harry admires him briefly. His cute nose and thin lips and stubble. His kind heart and open mind and the goodness that runs through his veins. Can Harry say he loves him? Is it possible to love someone so soon? Could Louis really love him?

"Penny for your thoughts," Louis' voice fits the night. It has this way of wrapping around you like your favourite sweater, warm and familiar and comforting.

"Just thinking about you," Harry whispers truthfully and he wonders if Louis thinks his voice is special. He wonders if he compares it to warmth and home.

"What about me?" Louis asks, his smile so charming Harry wonders how God created something to perfect.

"Just how pretty you are," Harry isn't embarrassed to admit this and Louis doesn't get embarrassed to hear it. He turns slightly to look at him and then he reaches out and grabs his hand that rests on his thigh.

"Interesting, I always think the same about you," Louis tells him and Harry allows the tinge of pink to form and he leans his head on the window, holding Louis' hand tight.

"Louis?" Harry loves saying his full name. He loves the way it forms on his tongue and how no matter what the sentence can be about, he always says Louis' name with such care.

"Yeah?" Louis asks back, his eyes staying on the road.

"What do you think of me moving out?" Harry asks curiously. Louis stiffens at the question and Harry's heartbeat is slow and uneven.

"Moving out? By yourself?" Louis asks, his words sounding strained and hurt.

"Yeah. My own place. Something that's mine," Harry is now nervous. His initial instinct is telling him that Louis could strike out or yell. The sensible part of his brain knows he won't.

"Are you unhappy at ours?" Louis asks with concern and Harry's eyes go wide and he shakes his head.

"No! I just want to do this. I need to," Harry says and Louis looks torn on what to say. Harry wishes he would pull over so they could talk face to face.

"On your own? Don't you want a roommate? Make it easier for you?" Louis sounds distressed at the idea of Harry being on his own and this sparks a bit of anger in Harry's heart.

"I want to do it alone," he tells him.

"Why? Why can't you have help?" Louis asks and Harry frowns.

"I do. You've been helping me since the day I met you," Harry points out and Louis decides it's time to pull over. They park the car on the side of the road and Louis turns to face him.

"I just don't want anything bad to happen," Louis sighs and Harry looks down at his hands, now empty of Louis'.

"Nothing will. I can call if I need you," Harry says.

"But what if you need me and I don't answer? Or you can't get to the phone?" Louis' worries strike the match inside Harry and he looks up, his voice not mean but his words purposeful.

"I need to learn to stand on my own feet. I'm tired of relying on everyone else to help me along. You're my friend, not my saviour," Harry tells him. Louis' brow furrows and he looks upset but also understanding.

"What if I want to be both?" He eventually asks and Harry shakes his head.

"You don't get to. I get to save myself. That's what I want.  I want to be my own knight in shining armour," Harry declares and Louis now looks proud, a look Harry loves on him.

"Knights can still ask for help," Louis adds and Harry smiles.

"I did. I want you to help me look for an apartment," Harry tells him and Louis smiles at him and Harry thinks he may lean over and kiss him. Harry thinks he may just let him. He's thinking all of this and then Louis just turns back to the road.

"You've changed a lot since the day we met," Louis speaks finally and Harry swallows, thinking back to the summer. Thinking of the cake be brought over and Ricky yelling at him and the events the occurred because of that.

"I know," Harry says, feeling pride and sadness mingling together in his heart.

"It's good to see you realize you can have the world," Louis continues and Harry smiles, taking Louis' hand back in his and watching the city flash by.

"I know," he agrees and he means it. He's ready to claim his own small part of the world.