Imperfections (Michael Clifford)

8

I woke up to a pounding headache, but as soon as I felt a pair of strong arms wrapped around me, all of my pain vanished.

"Good morning, beautiful." I love the sound of Michael's voice in the morning.

I opened my eyes to see Michael staring at me... How long has he been awake? "Good morning, baby." I said, realizing how much my throat hurt, wincing.

"What's wrong?" He asked concerned.

Thinking before answering "My throat hurts, my head is throbbing, and my stomach is twisting." I said. I sat up, making my head hurt worse. After a second, my stomach turned and I felt something rise up my throat, causing me to get up and run to the bathroom. Michael followed me and held my hair back while I puked my guts out.

"What happened last night?" I asked, flushing the toilet then wiping my mouth.

"You looked at your phone for a while, and then you kept ordering strong drinks. I kept asking you to tell me what's going on with you but you just ignored me. You danced for a few minutes and passed out, hitting your head on the floor."

"That explains why my head hurts..." I mumbled.

"Yep. Are you okay, or...?" He asked, concerned.

"I'm really tired." I said, feeling like I'm about to fall asleep, mid sentence.

Before I could say anything else, Michael picked me up, bridal style, and carried me back to bed. "Get some rest, baby." He said, setting me on the bed.

"Are you sure? I can stay up with you." I offered. He immediately shook his head.

"It's fine. Just go to sleep." He whispered, placing a gentle kiss on my forehead. I fell sound asleep within seconds.

~~~

I walked into class and tripped over someone's foot, falling flat on my face.

"Watch where you going, pathetic loser!" A familiar voice barked.

She started laughing and the whole class joined. I looked over my shoulder to see Monica.

I gathered my things and controlled my emotions and went to my desk.

The bell rang and the teacher walked in and started role call. He said a bunch of names but when he came to mine...

"Lilly?"

"Mr. Burton, her name is loser, not Lilly." Monica cheered. The whole class was laughing and high-fiving. Even Mr. Burton laughed. How messed up is that?

It's not even a good insult, but it still stung.

Their voices echoed until I couldn't hear anything and I started crying.

I grabbed my things and ran out of class and hid in the bathroom, sobbing, until the bell rang.

When it did ring, I ran to find Michael. And I found him. I found him alright, but I wish I didn't. Monica was in his arms. Monica. Was. In. Michael's. Arms.

I ran up to him, pushed Monica into the lockers, and grabbed Michael by the collar of his shirt and dragged him down the hall and out of the door.

"What the hell Michael!?" I screamed and shoved him backward.

"What do you mean 'what the hell'? No one likes you, Lilly. Your the laughing stock of the school, and of the town. And look at you! Your hair isn't the right way anymore, your eyes aren't the right color, your boobs aren't big enough, your butt isn't purky, and you're kinda fat. But Monica, Monica is perfect. She's tan, blonde hair, blue eyes, big boobs and butt, she's skinny, she's attractive, and she's popular. She's hot. She's perfect." He said. His words smacked me across the face like a bag of bricks. It tore my heart in two.

With those words, he walked inside, and I ran. My whole body went numb, but I kept running. My eyes filled with tears so much I couldn't see.

She's perfect. I could hear him say it.

In that moment, I wanted the pain to disappear. Anything to make it go away.

She's perfect. Go away.

My thoughts controlled my body.

I couldn't hear. I couldn't see. I couldn't feel.

I don't want to feel.

I realized I was lost, but it made me feel better, somehow.

She's perfect. I don't want to feel. I can't handle this.

She's perfect. I can't hand-

She's perfect. I can't-

She's perfect. I c-

Shes perfect. I CANT DO THIS!

All of my imperfections were plastered in my mind.

All I wanted was to disappear.

Sobbing, I slowly walked to the middle of the road. All I could do was lay down, and wait.

"How could you?" I screamed.

"How could you?" I screamed again.

I kept screaming until everything faded out.

"Baby!?" Someone said.

"Wake up!" The familiar voice said a little louder.

"What's going on?! Wake up! Lilly! Please!!!" I opened my eyes to see Michael on the bed sweating, and scared.

"Huh?" I said, confused.

"Thank God, your okay!" He said and hugged me.

"What happened?" I said. I'm so confused. I- I was in the road. What's going on?

"You were yelling in your sleep. I mean you were like, screaming!" He replied.

That's when I realized everything was a dream. I was still crying because the dream was so scary.

"What did I say?" I asked him, wiping away the tears.

"I could hear you mumbling things for a while and I knew you were dreaming. After a while you said, kinda loud, 'she's perfect.' Then you screamed 'I can't do this.' That's when I ran up here to see what was going on. You mumbled 'I want to disappear'. Then you said something about laying in the road. Then all of a sudden. You started shaking, crying, and yelling 'how could you', over, and over, and over. Do you remember your dream?"

Uh... What do I say? If I say yes, he will want to know what happened, and I don't know how to tell him something like that, but if I say no he will see through it and eventually I will have to tell him. Eventually. "Not really." I lied.

She's perfect.

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