Consequences - Grester

Chapter 28

AN: I'm SO sorry I haven't posted in such a long time. I've been insanely busy with school stuff, but I'm on holiday now, so I'll update more often. Thanks for being patient :)

Grace's POV

I sit right outside Chester's hospital room, anxiously pulling at the dead skin surrounding my thumb. My cheeks are tear-stained and my eyes are raw, but tearless, from crying and rubbing them so much.

Words can't describe the knots that my stomach is tied into, as well as my racing heart which thumps irregularly in it's cage and my chest which rises and falls quickly with my shallow breaths.

"Miss Helbig?" A doctor emerges from the room holding a clipboard under one arm.

My heart jumps as I hear my name and I jolt up from the bench I was sitting on.

"Please tell me my husband will be okay." The words don't seem to pass the filter in my brain and I blurt out whatever I'm thinking.

"Your husband is not in a preferred condition. We have him on life support and his MRI and CAT scan indicate traumatic brain injury." The doctor speaks smoothly, as if he isn't talking about a real person. "I'm sorry to say, but he only has a 2% survival rate and even if he does survive, he's extremely likely to be left in a vegetative state."

I can't comprehend what the doctor is telling me. My mind is spinning and all that I can manage to make out is a tearless sob.

"We're leaving it up to you and your family to decide whether you'd like to take Mr See off life support or not." The doctor touches my shoulder sympathetically.

"No. I won't do that. I'm telling you now, I'm keeping him on life support. I don't need anybody else's advice." I state firmly, my shock overtaken by defensiveness.

"Alright, Miss Helbig. We'll allow you into the ward, if you'd like." He talks to me like I would talk to my four year old, and I can't help but feel a small bit of hatred towards him.

He leads me to Chester's room, where Chester is lying lifeless on the bed with countless tubes attached to his limbs and a heart rate monitor that puts me at ease. There's a seat at the head end of the bed and I don't hesitate to sit in it.

"I'll give you some time alone, but please do bear in mind that we have set visiting hours." The doctor nods and walks out of the room.

I'm far too overwhelmed to care about the doctor's cocky responses. Instead, I desperately touch Chester's face. I'm reassured by the warmth that radiates from his pale face as I run my fingers through his hair and touch his skin.

"Ches?" I whisper and I can feel tears welling up in my eyes again. "I know you can't hear me, but I need to get this off my chest. I'm sorry that you're like this. It's all my fault. I can't even remember what we were fighting about, but it's my fault and I'll never forgive myself for doing this to you."

I stutter as I speak, and my hands move quickly through his hair, as if it's a nervous habit, but I continue to talk.

"All of these stupid fights and disagreements don't matter anymore. I just want you back. I regret every word I ever said to you that wasn't loving." I look at his pale skin and blank expression. "You know I love you, right? It's probably too late for me to say that. I don't know if you'll ever be okay, and if you will, I don't think you'll forgive me."

I realise that I must look like a crazy person, talking to her unresponsive husband, so I quietly shift myself from the seat onto the bed. I manage to avoid all the tubes that Chester is hooked up to, and lie squashed up next to him. His steady breathing and the warmth of his presence calm me down.

It's weird to think that only months ago, we were on our own bed, side by side, at home, silently enjoying each other's existence and now we're here on a hospital bed, one of us clinging to life.

2 hours later, I leave the hospital, reassured by the nurses that they'll monitor Chester's breathing as carefully as I would.

Whilst I was at the hospital, Mamrie texted me to tell me that the girls are at her house and that I should go over there instead of going home alone, so instead of driving back to my house, I make my way over to hers.

When I arrive, it's obvious that everyone is asleep. Mamrie has left the light at the front door on in anticipation of my arrival. I creep into the house as quietly as possible, into her spare bedroom.

As I enter the dark room, I spot Sophie and Charlotte's little figures under the blankets on the bed. I ease my shoes off my feet and approach the bed when Charlotte sits up.

"Mommy?" She calls out.

"God, you gave me a heart attack, Charlotte." I clutch my chest in shock as I slide into the bed alongside the tiny little girl. "Why are you still up?"

"Why are you home so late?" She ignores my question. "We watched the Lion King and Aunt Mames read us a story already."

"I'm sorry, peanut. I was at the hospital with Daddy." I hold back the tears which spring back into my eyes.

"I know. Aunt Mames told me." Charlotte nods and lies back down to face me. "Is he sick?"

"Not sick." I say softly. "He hit his head really hard in the car accident, so he needs to get better at the hospital."

"Does he have a big bruise on his head?" She asks innocently.

"No. It's more on the inside." I bite my lip anxiously, because I'm afraid I might cry.

"Did he cry?" Charlotte's questions seem never-ending.

"He can't cry. He's asleep, and he's going to be asleep for quite awhile." I attempt to soften the situation.

"Mommy?" I hear Charlotte's voice wobble. "Is Daddy like the big lion in the Lion King? You know, when the bad lion hits him off the cliff and then he never comes back?"

"Maybe, Charlotte." I stifle a sob and hug her tightly.

"Then who's the bad lion?" Her whispers are muffled by the blankets.

"I think I am." I whisper so softly that it must be inaudible, because Charlotte doesn't respond.