INTRUDER

22 DAYS BEFORE THE INTRUSION

Garred never came home last night and he didn't even call. I guess I am happy about that since I was dreading yesterday that he would ave to come home and I didn't want him to. Ellie was biting her fingers thinking that the "fun" was over but I kept telling her that he wasn't going to come over and we were going to have more fun than we did yesterday. I told her that I was making Garred stay where he is and that we were going to be okay. I had hoped that this was true and fortunately it was and we got to go to the park today. We made breakfast and Maggie told us we were heading to the park that was downtown and we were going to have the best fun in our entire lives. I knew that Maggie was also doing the thing that I was trying to do to Ellie, distract her from the fact that Garred might come back any minute. Ellie was so happy like this and Maggie and I wanted to keep it this way. We didn't want her happiness to end suddenly. We got into the car to go to the park which was maybe thirty minutes away from our small and almost destroyed house. It's so destroyed because of all that Garred throws at the walls and the number of times that he slams the door behind him every time that he leaves.We need to sort of escape that house before it falls right on our heads. I don't know but I feel like this family is falling apart with this house and I am the one both holding it up and holding up this damaged family. The one that should be trying to help should be Garred but he doesn't care about anything so it has to be me. It cant be Maggie because she has so many things right now to worry about and that would just put more pressure on her. More and more pressure than she already had. It wouldn't be fair, so it has to be me and I am fine with that even if it means to also support Garred. I will do anything to keep this family sane. I will do anything to keep this family alive and up.

When we arrive at the park, Ellie runs up to the swing sets and starts happily swinging herself and as I watch her, I remember that day when Ellie and I raced together and pushed each other off the waterslide and we then started laughing. That was maybe, what, maybe five years ago when I was eleven and Ellie was six. I remember that day so well with Maggie clapping at us but if I remember well: I don't remember Garred being there. Garred didn't like parties so he never was there. Back then I would be so sad that Garred was gone and not at my party but now that I think about it, I sort of liked it better and I was smiling more when Garred wasn't there. Garred didn't care about us or my parties, so why should I care about him? There is no reason to. I hate how I hate him but I cannot go a day without trying to find a way that he might be nice to us, but he never is. I hate myself when I can't find a way but I come to realize that maybe the reason I can't find one is because there is none. Garred can never love happily.

I have tried to come up with some things to make Garred happy but I can never came up with a solid idea because I would give up since Garred either didn't care or he explodes. He is always like that and I have learned that he will never changer from that. Ellie has also learned that from when she would try to make Garred laugh but eventually she gave up because he never did laugh. Not once, at least in front of us.

When I was 12, Maggie told me a secret not to tell anyone. She told me she that she had seen Garred with another woman. Her name was Lynn and she worked with my dad. One day my mom was walking to get Ellie from school and she spotted that they were kissing, practically making out. She had recognized the girl by looking on her shirt and noticing that she was one of Garred's co-workers. She said that she died the day she saw that, maybe that also explains the reason my mom was always so depressed... she never knew if they had stopped or not.

I run towards Ellie and grab her in my arms, hugging her. She asks me if I want to come over with her so that we can play and I say yes.

We play on the swings and then we play tag and stuff. We play just as if we were little kids again. Deep down, I think I was still a little kid that all she wanted was to make her dad happy. But I have broke past that and now I am a girl who will do anything to keep her family safe and not get scared of everything. I am the brave girl. I will always be the brave girl.

I return to Maggie and bring her in on the game, we play hide and seek for maybe 30 minutes and we are so happy when we are heading back home. I start to panic when we arrive at our house. Maybe Garred arrived. I start to dread opening the door, but I do. The house is open but there is no one inside. Garred is not home, we must've left the door open. Phew.

Maggie and Ellie soon join me and we all throw ourselves on the couch to watch some television. We all fall asleep hugging each other.