I toss and turn in my bed for the hundredth time tonight unable to fall asleep. I grab my phone off my nightstand checking the time.
3:27a.m. I sigh standing up giving up on this.
Nialls operation is at 7a.m. today and I can't sleep thinking about it. I mean they're going to remove part of his lung and if he doesn't die during that operation he's going to be stuck in the hospital for a month while the rest of us have to continue to work. I hate it. I hate thinking about this all.
I walk out of my room into the kitchen getting a cup of water.
"I know, I know, it is, it has risks but I have to do this" I look around hearing a voice. I realize though it's coming from the balcony outside.
I look through the glass door seeing Niall pacing up and down the back porch on his phone looking exhausted like he hasn't slept all night also.
"No I'll be okay mum. Don't worry. Yeah. I know. I'll call as soon as it's over or I'll have one of the boys. Okay. I love you" I sigh listening to Niall talk to his mum in an upset tone "bye mum"
He hangs up and I walk outside causing Niall to turn around quickly "oh hey Li what are you doing up?" He asks calming down seeing it's me
"Couldn't sleep" I shrug walking over closer to him "you?"
"Same" he sighs sitting down in one of the outdoor chairs and I sit in The other, a table between us.
"You nervous? About tomorrow I mean?" I ask him
He nods looking down at his hands "terrified" he mumbles
"Of what?" I ask him softly
He shakes his head "Everything. I mean I could die, again, and if I don't then I have to spend a month in the hospital" he sighs
"You will survive Ni." I tell him sternly for his benefit and quite honestly my own "you just have to see the bigger picture in the end it'll be so worth it when you're cancer free" I smile weakly at him
"I know." He bites his finger nails "I'm still scared though. And I feel terrible taking so much time off from work right before the album drop when we're our busiest and leaving it to you guys to pick up the slack" he explains
"You shouldn't feel guilty Niall. We all want you to have this surgery and take as much time off as you need if it means you'll get better sooner" I tell him honestly knowing myself and the other boys feel the same way
He nods "thanks" he smiles. There's a comfortable moment of silence between us before Niall speaks up again "I miss Zayn" he whispers so quietly I barley catch what he says
"You do?" I ask a bit shocked but also understanding
He nods "I know it's crazy I mean he left us all unfairly, but I mean we practically lived with him for five years how could I not?" He sighs upset "I just miss being able to talk to him. Not that you lads aren't great to talk to but I miss talking to him also I guess"
I nod "I understand. I miss him too sometimes" I admit
"You do?" He asks repeating my question
I shrug "like you said we all lived together and grew up together for five years who could I not?" I ask rhetorically
He nods "I guess I should probably go to bed"
"Will you be able to sleep?" I ask him
"Doubt it but I have to try, right?" He stands up and I follows his lead
We walk inside and upstairs quietly careful not to wake anyone. We're about to part ways going to our rooms but I stop him
"Niall" he turns around
YOU ARE READING
Just Breathe
FanfictionI'll never forget that day. That day the doctor told me, I, Niall Horan, had cancer. Cancer. That awful, deadly disease that we all pray we never have to live with. I had it. It was there. Living, growing inside me like a weed. Tearing me apart, suc...
