Just Breathe

Chapter 61: Too Many Questions, Not Enough Answers

•Liam•

My eyes burned. The combination of no sleep, over caffeination and held back tears was doing me no good. But it didn't matter. I refuse to sleep.

Niall had been asleep, the only sign of life coming from him were the machines beeping around him, for ten plus hours now. The other lads and Annie all taking turns sleeping in short intervals.

I couldn't though. I physically couldn't. How was I expected to sleep when my best friend was slowly fading away right before me? I won't leave him to die alone just because I'm tired. I won't.

"Li," i snap out of my thoughts at the sound of someone next to me. I look up from where I was sat to see harry "you need to sleep mate. I'll wake you if anything happens."

"I'm fine" I shake my head sipping back my coffee

"You're not fine you look like you're strung out on coffee" I roll my eyes at him averting my gaze back to Niall "and you don't even like coffee."' I peer down into the black bitter liquid. He's right, i don't. "I'm serious Liam. Sleep. You're not doing Niall any favors by depriving yourself of sleep"

"Its not about me. I'll be fine. I have to stay with him" I mumble the last bit

He sighs pulling a chair over next to me "Alright. But if you're going to stay up forever you're going to have to deal with me, because I'm not leaving your side just to have you pass out somewhere."

"Fine" i lean back in my chair looking over Niall carefully. I found myself carefully study him as if it's the last time I'll ever see him. The scar on his knee from his knee surgery when he refused to even let any of us in his house after, the scars on his lower stomach from when Harry gave his own kidney to him, the scar on his jawbone that was the result of some drunken nights injury that's still a mystery to all of us, to the multiple inch long scar down the center of his chest from his lung resection. We've been through hell and back together, but somehow Niall was the only one with the scars to prove it.

"What are we going to do without him." My voice cuts through the looming silence in the room

Harry shakes his head "I don't know. He would want us to move on. Continue with our lives and the band, but I don't think I can do that."

I heave a pained sigh "how the hell did we even end up here?" I huff "wasn't he just that obnoxiously loud boy with the bad haircut on xfactor?"

Harry laughs shaking his head "that was a bad haircut"

I chuckle "it was really bad"

Our second long moment of happy remembrance was quickly ended by a knock at the door.

"Hey" Annie walks in having cleaned the smeared makeup of her face

"Hey" I smile weakly at her as she sit on the opposite side of Niall's bed as Haz and I

"Where's Louis?" I ask her

"He's asleep in the waiting room" the hospital had been considerate enough to give us a small private waiting room for us to wait and sleep in I had yet to even leave Niall's room though "I ah over heard Dr. Kelly talking to another doctor about giving him an NG tube" she tells us sadly "they said he can't afford to loose any more weight than he already has these past couple days just being here"

I sigh heavily at that. Hes getting worse. And Quickly.

•Niall•

Everything hurt. I couldn't even pinpoint what was hurting or even what hurt the most. But nothing could hurt worse than thought that in a few weeks hell maybe even in a few days I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't be up on stage with the lads, or walking down the isle with Annie, or having kids, or winning awards anymore I would just be gone.