The Tragedies of Chemistry

Chapter 7- The Journal Entry

Wesley's POV.

I stared at the journal that lay a foot in front of me as I took another hit from Piper's bong.

"And then I told her to go fuck herself," Piper cackled to Benny. They laughed together about something I wasn't paying much attention to. I still chuckled either way. Piper looked to me with her red hooded eyes, "Don't hog alright Wes." She said snatching the bong, "I can't get anymore until tomorrow." She took a drag and handed it to Benny.

"What the hell are you doing anyways?" She muttered. Benny slapped Piper's knee. "Ow you shit!"

"Leave him alone Piper," Benny shook his head, "He's thinking whether or not he should open it."

"Open what? Who does it belong to?" She shot back. I shrugged in response, "I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know? Where'd you fucking find it?"

"You cuss too much for a girl." Benny groaned.

"And you slum too much weed off of me for a dude who lives in the fucking suburbs." She retaliated.

"Chill, you're killing my vibe."

"And you're killing my attraction for you."

Piper and Benny were the only other stoners I knew near my neighborhood. They were a lot older than I was and they argued every single day but ended up banging by the end of the night. They were pretty cool people otherwise.

"Something troubling your mind kid?" Benny asked. I shook my head. "Well I'm gonna go downstairs and fix me something to eat." He stood up from the floor and walked out of the room. Piper got up and ran after him as well.

I sat on the floor and continued to stare at the brown bounded journal. Although I was brave enough to pick it up, there was no way I could open it. Inside was someone's life. Their secrets and fears, their desires and hopes. I couldn't handle having all that on my conscience. And if I discovered who it belonged to? Could I just give it back knowing that I know so much of them? I decided I wouldn't open it. And then a thought lingered.

"Maybe if I read the first page," I murmured, "I'll find out who it belongs to and I'll give it back to them." That thought I was satisfied with. I grabbed the journal and unbounded it and turned to the first page. I was not that surprised to see pretty handwriting scrawled on the first page, but unfortunately, no name. I read on.

May 12, 2014
Dear Journal,
My therapist said you'd be good to me. I hope he's right.

Well this turned depressing, I thought to myself.

But then again he's my dad bestfriend so what the fuck does he really know?

Nevermind, haha.

I wanted to believe everything gets better with time. Time is such of an essence when your mother has stage four cancer. I'm sorry, had stage four cancer.
But I must admit something I never even seemed to have admitted to myself out loud. I realize now my biggest fear wasn't losing her. My mother had told me she wasn't afraid so neither should I. I was afraid of how my life was going to be like without her in it. All in all, I guess you could say I was afraid of the inevitable change that came along with her death. And how my life had changed for the worse.

Benny and Piper walked back into the room with bags of chips and sandwiches in their hands. Benny threw a bag of Doritos at me. "You decided to read it?" Benny said. I quickly shushed him and continued reading.

When my father found out she waa diagnosed, he became a man I never knew he could become. He became distant, spoke less, and didn't come home for hours at a time. My mother wasn't even dead yet and I could already see change taking its form. And how scared I was then.