The Tragedies of Chemistry

Chapter 21- High Walls

Wesley's POV.

"Thank you." She finally said, "Thank you for doing that back there."
I shrugged, "It was no problem. Just being a good citizen."
She laughed, "I'm really sorry he did this to you." She looked at the bruise on my cheekbone and the blood on my chin. I got my jaw sacked by some college douche I saved her from. But in reality, I felt great. The way she was smiling at me made it worth it.
"I'm fine," I said, "Honestly."
She didn't look convinced.
"What did you see in that guy anyway?" I asked. She looked too high of herself to be dating scum like that. But it's girls like her that go for assholes like him. Why? U might never know.
She rolled her eyes, "This is what I get for trying to date a college guy."
"This is what I get for trying to be brave in front of a pretty girl." I chuckled.
She blushed, "I'm really sorry for that."
But I waved it off. "He shouldn't have put his hands on you. That's all there is to it."
She unbuckled her seat belt, "Thank you again." She opened the car door but stopped. She looked back at me, "Could you not tell anyone at school about this?"
My head snapped up, "What?"
She looked embarassed, "I said could you not tell-"
"You go to my school?" I asked her. She looked taken aback. "I knew you looked familiar." I explained.
"We have English together."
That's when it clicked. She sat in the front row in my English class. Shit. I forgot her name. No, I knew her name. Didn't I?
"I also went to your concert," She chuckled but I was still trying to figure how I knew her name. Abigail? Morgan? Adele? Maddie?
"Addison?"
"Madison," She corrected me, "Madison James."
Madison James.
"And you're Wesley," She smiled. The way she said my name sent a warmth in my chest. "Wesley."
"Yes?"
"Wesley."
"What is it?"
"Wesley"
Wesley
Wesley
"Wesley!"
My eyes snapped open. Madison was standing in front of my desk, her eyes looking down at me as I peeled my cheek off my desk.
"Class is over." She said. "Why were you saying my name?"
"What?" I asked groggily as I tried to wake myself up.
"My name," She said," You were saying my name in your sleep."
I slightly groaned to myself. I'm such an idiot.
"Uh, I didn't know I was." I tried to say, "Anyways, what can I do for you?"
The bell rang again and students from the next class started to fill in the classroom.
She started to look uncomfortable again. She crossed her arms and averted her eyes. "Uh, can I talk to you outside?"
I wearily nodded, grabbed my stuff and followed her out of the classroom. She kept looking around until people in the hallway became scarce. I knew she didn't want anyone to see us together or see her having a reason to talk to someone like me. I suddenly started to gain a bitter taste in my mouth.
"We're gonna be late for class so-"
"I'm sorry." She said.
I furrowed my brows. "For what?"
She rolled her eyes, "You know for what."
"No I don't, why don't you tell me?"
"Look, I'm sorry if I insulted your sister at the party. I didn't mean that."
"Of course you meant that. You're Madison James. You mean what you say and you say what you mean."
She sighed, "Not all the time. Im sorry if I offended you, I should've known better than to think that you would let that slide."
I studied her face and she looked to be even more embarrassed that I would've expected. It was obvious that this was something that was hard for her to do. I let go of a tension in my shoulders that I didn't know was there.
"I know why you're like this," I finally said.
Her head snapped back up. "Excuse me? Like what?" She asked defensively.
I pointed my finger right in her face. "That. Like that." She shoved my finger away but I still continued, "I know why you're such a bitch all the time."
"Screw off Wesley, you don't know anything about me."
"Don't act like I didn't read your diary! I know why you have such high walls and why you don't let anyone see the real you! It's not that you're conceited or arrogant and think you're better than everyone. It's that you're afraid that if people saw the real you, they wouldn't like it-"
"Shut up Wesley." She said quietly.
"-That you'd be the one thing you fear most in this world: alone. So you surround yourself with people that worship you because they're imagining qualities in you that you wish you really had. Confidence, bravery, self assurance, secure."
"Shut up Wesley."
"When in reality, you're none of these things. You're scared! Madison James is a scared little girl-"
"Shut up Wesley!" She shouted. We were both breathing heavily as the silence started to settle in. Her breathing was audible and shaky. Quiet sobs left her mouth.
"Madison," I murmured.
"Just stop, please," She whispered, "I know. I know okay? Are you happy with yourself now?"
"Not really." I said, "I'm sorry Madison, I shouldn't have said what I said."
"Don't apologize to me," She looked up at me with cloudy blue eyes and tears smearing her mascara. I had to restrain myself from wiping her cheek.
"I know what I do and why I do it," She said. "But, there's no other way to be for me."
"You can be yourself," I suggested.
She shook her head, "What's the point? I'm going to be alone either way."
I lowered my hand to hers and barely grazed my fingers against hers. "You have me."
She looked up at me and suddenly the air around us became heavy. I suddenly felt somewhat euphoric with her face so close to mine. No high compared to the one I felt when I was standing right here. I lowered my lips down to hers but before they could even touch-
"I should get back to class," She pulled away. She turned around and walked away.
"Madison, wait!" I called after her.
She stopped and slowly turned her head back around. Her eyes begged for me not to come closer so I stood in my place.
"Um, I was wondering if maybe you'd want to go out sometime? No like a date or anything, just to hang out. But if you know, you're busy or something, we don't have to. It's up to you-"
She laughed and walked back right up to me. She pulled a pen out of her bag and grabbed my hand. I smiled goofily as I watched her write her number on my hand.
A door opened and a teacher stepped out. Madison instantly took a step away from me. "Text me," She murmured before turning back around and walking away for the second time.