Those Three Little Words

Didn't Mean It

"LIAM! Wait!" I panted hard.

He jerked around, his eyes wild and wide open.

"W-Why shouldn't I... Why shouldn't I expose you to the world. To Niall?"

"Cause it would freak him out."

"And cause you'd have to deal with us." I whirl around, Louis and Zayn stand in the doorway, Louis' arms crossed and Zayn's deep in his pockets.

"Give me the phone Liam.."

"Why should I?"

"If you want to keep your boyfriend. I'd hand it over." Zayn hissed. Liam frowned and tossed the phone at me. I caught it and deleted the tweets immediately, but it was too late, millions of fans were going crazy. Niall's mentions were blowing up.

"You've really done it now Liam.. Thanks a lot, my life is now ruined. Thanks." I turned off his mentions and threw the phone on the bed. I left the room angrily. Just once, I'd like to leave somewhere happy.

"I'm.. I'm sorry Haz..."

"Sorry's not going to help." I mutter.

  That night was rough, I had so many nightmares all of them in which I was crying or Niall was crying. I felt like if he even heard the rumors that he'd automatically hate me. Stupid Liam. Stupid, stupid, stupid! When I woke up it felt like death itself had tapped me on the shoulder and said, "I'm going to give you hell buddy." I sat up, my head pounding from all the thinking I'd been doing. As soon as my feet it the cold hard ground a shiver jolted me. I opened my eyes and managed to make my way to the bathroom and shower. As soon as I dressed myself I could hear a knock.

"Harry! Harry open up."

Niall. God damn it he knew... I knew it. Liam told him, and he fucking believed it all.

"Open the door Harry!"

I opened it.

"What." I tried acting as if nothing was wrong. He walked in the room slowly, his back was facing me and when he turned around my heart broke. He had tears in his eyes, tears spilling down his perfect cheeks. "Nialler what's wrong?"

"Don't.."

"Don't what?"

"Don't even ask that Harry, don't even ask."

"Well then what am I supposed to say?"

"Is it true?"

Damn, I was right, he did know. I sighed and sat down on my bed, patting the space beside me. He shook his head and crossed his arms.

"Is it true? Just tell me the truth Harry.. I swear if you fucking lie to me one more time..."

"LIE? WHAT LIES? I'VE NEVER LIED TO YOU!" I erupted.

"IS IT TRUE?" He yelled.

"NO! GOD DAMN IT! IT'S NOT FUCKING TRUE AND IT NEVER WILL BE! I DON'T FUCKING LIKE GUYS, I'M NOT A FAGGOT LIKE YOU SO JUST FUCK OFF AND LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE NIALL."

"SHUT UP. YOU SHUT UP RIGHT THIS INSTANT HARRY. DON'T YOU EVER CALL ME THAT AGAIN. ON SECOND THOUGHT DON'T EVER TALK TO ME AGAIN! I HATE YOU."

"I HATE YOU TOO!" I scream. Niall storms out of my room and I slam the door behind him. It's hard to breath, I can't catch my breath, I feel like I'm going to pass out. I'm hyperventilating, panicking. I feel faint, and I can't see anything, and everything is pitch black, and then it happens, I land on the ground with a thud.

Okay so I passed out, the doctors said I had a panic attack cause by anxiety and the amount of stress in my life. Liam drove the boys to the hospital, they all came in except Niall who waited in the car. I could hear the boys, but I still hadn't woken up. That part of the equation was still puzzling the doctors. I could hear Louis crying, the drama queen, he had whispered. "Niall's really upset Harry, what'd you say to him this time?" Of course me being in the state I was had gotten angry, my heart rate jumping, the boys had to leave and when they returned Louis apologized, I had manage to smile a little. Then Zayn hugged me and I could hear Liam say that it was time to go and that he wanted to get back to Niall in case he had decided to do something stupid. They say goodbye and I hear a door shut. Damn I want to wake up, I want to see where I was, which I was already pretty sure of that but I wanted to look around. It was so boring hear, there was no music, TV. Nothing, and I was starving! How long am I going to be like this? And when I wake up is Niall going to hate me forever? He did tell me not to ever speak to him again. I knew I'd really done it when I had called him a faggot. I honestly don't even know where it came from. But I knew how much I'd hurt him when I'd said it. I'd regretted every second of that stupid fight. I had never wanted to make Niall upset, much less hurt him. Now I'd managed to do both and now he hates and wont ever speak to me again. I needed to apologize to him, but who knows if that would even work. Like I had told Liam earlier, Sorry is not going to help me. If I wanted Niall's forgiveness I needed to do something big. But first, I have wake up.