insecurities » malum

fifteen

michael sighed as he opened his closet, trying to find something decent to wear for school. he decided that he wanted to wear his pastel pink oversized sweater, his white skirt and his white knee high socks that had small pink hearts on it.

michael tugs at the sleeves of his sweater as he stared at himself through a mirror. a part of him thought that he looked pretty in the outfit, but michael thought that he wasn't pretty enough to be wearing these clothing.

he wanted to be confident and show that he didn't give a fuck of what people thinks of him. but sometimes, his insecurities gets the best of him. he ran his fingers through his faded dyed hair, it was now an ugly pinkish color and michael now wonders if he should dye it a pastel color or just black.

michael's emerald eyes teared up as his gaze fell on the ugly bruise on his knees. he couldn't be, he won't ever be and he will never be as pretty as alice. and it hurts him too much to know the truth.

wiping away his tears, he quickly changed into a matching gray nike sweatpants and sweatshirt but hated how it felt and looked on his body instantly. he wanted to wear frilly pastel colored skirts and wear pretty crop tops. he wanted to look pretty, but he couldn't even look pretty in his normal clothing so what's the point?

;

michael jogged to school, praying that he could at least loose some weight as he did. he earned some judgmental looks and whispers about him as he walked towards his locker, only to be met with a frowning luke.

"what's wrong, mikey?" luke knitted his eyebrows as he looked at michael up and down.

michael squimed, bowing his head and just shrugged. luke slides a finger on michael's chin and forced michael to make eye-contact with him. and luke has never been so shocked once he was met by a dullish green color on michael's eyes.

"michael," luke sighed sadly, "what's wrong?"

michael just shook his head before squatting down and opening his locker where there was a picture of him and calum attached on his locker door, making him smile a bit but then frowned when realizing how ugly he looked in the picture.

michael was met by honey blond curls and fluffy raven hair as he stood up, and both were slightly shocked when seeing michael's outfit.

"kitten, are you okay?" calum furrowed his eyebrows and scooped michael up in his arms.

michael just wrapped his small arms around calum's neck and buried his face in calum's chest, holding back the urge to cry as he was uncomfortable in the clothing. he breathed in calum's scent and somehow managed to calm down. calum rubbed michael's back soothingly, and gave a questing look at luke and ashton but both just shrugged.

"mikey, you know you can tell us anything, right?" luke asked as he held his boyfriend's hand.

michael nodded and calum kissed his forehead softly and michael whined softly when hearing the bell ring.

"you have a class with ashton after this right?" calum questioned, pecking michael's cheek.

"we have english together." michael informed with a soft voice and ashton nodded in conformation.

"c'mon mikey, let's get to class." ashton smiled, kissing luke's forehead before offering michael to hold his hand. and michael did, only for comfort though, but luke doesn't seem to mind.

;

michael was somewhat traumatized of the school stairs. he didn't want anyone pushing him off of the stairs again. so he waited until the stairs were sort of cleared before he rushed down and sighed in relief when he made it back to his locker in one piece.