Being young

Part 1: Chapter 11

Jay POV

Applying for College was just the next thing to add to my to do list, between taking my sister to dance class and practising as well as reading for the kids at the library I just didn't have time. I was studying to get great grades and practising to get a scholarship. The worst part about it all is that even though I know it's what I'm supposed to do and what I've always known I was going to do it just feels wrong. I've had this all planned for years, I always knew exactly where I wanted to go and what I wanted to study but now things have changed. I know that once I'm gone- and It isn't that far away- there will be no one to protect Bey. The current Basketball team is leaving with me which means she'll only have Nicki, Kelly and Michelle. This gives Shontelle the perfect opportunity to hurt her when she's alone. When she's finally gotten comfortable and hasn't been harassed for a few months she can attack and that's when I can't be here to stop it. 

I stood thinking for a while with my hands in my pockets. It doesn't hit you when you're in school- how much you're actually gonna miss it. Most of the time it's not the people but the school itself.  Think about the hallways you walk down every day, the way the school feels, the way it smells and everything about it. At some point you won't ever see that again, it doesn't hit you for a while and then it happens all at once. Like now. I looked down the hall as I stood leaning against the wall waiting to go into the guidance counsellors office.  The lockers were red, red lockers I wasn't going to see again. The students were busy, the banners hung from the ceiling and posters covered the walls. Man, a sight I never paid much attention to was something I was going to miss a lot more than I knew. I continued looking down the Hall and saw her at her locker as usual.  Beyoncé leaned against her locker reading a book with her glasses on her face. She had changed her hair recently so instead of it being it's blonde shaggy bob it was now a mass of medium height light brown curls. This was partly due to the fact that her hair had grown and she decided to go from Blonde to brown and stopped straightening it as much. I think she looks beautiful either way.  She looked up at me from her book and smiled, I was going to miss this. Seeing her smile from across the hall, seeing her happy and content at her locker with a book in her hands. She was so beautiful and It captivated me, she made me want to be a better person, she made me want to do anything for her. All she had to do was smile... and I would kill a thousand men then defeat an army made up of the strongest people alive then go to her father and ask for his blessing before returning to her with a gift in my hands and romantic words. I would do it, for her I really would. My mom had grown to like her in the past few weeks of  Beyoncé coming to my house. Annie loved to play with her hair and talk to her about girl shit I didn't know much about. She was a different person now, she was so much happier and less afraid of everyone, stronger too but once I'm gone is that gonna stay the same? Will it change? She lifted her hand a little and waved at me and I waved back with a slight chuckle as she turned away probably toward her class with Michelle who had just met her. I looked back over to the door of the guidance counsellors office and saw her step out and call me in. Our Guidance counsellor was a small black lady with a large afro and glasses, she was very slim and always wore a very smart suit but she wasn't that strict or a bad lady. She was actually pretty easy to get along with.

"Shawn" She began before smiling at me as I took a seat across from her desk and she sat down as well. "Tell me about your plans for next year" She pulled out a note pad before looking back up at me and smiling. 

"I want to go to college but I'm not sure any more" I shrugged and she tilted her head before removing her glasses and sitting back in her seat. 

"Is It about a girl because I've heard enough of that today, girls not wanting to go because of a boy and boys not wanting to go because of a girl. If it's that then you have nothing to worry about because that's a silly reason to tie yourself to this small ole town when you can so do much better and if she really loves you she will support you fully" She explained with a small smirk on her face to show me she had heard it all before. 

"What about my little sister? She needs me, and Beyoncé needs me too" I pointed out as I played with the basketball in my hands a little bit. 

"Shawn, it's time for you to do what's good for you and what you need. you can't always put other people first, this is your future and they love you.  The thing about teenagers is that quite a lot of them think in the present, they don't think about how every little thing they do effects their future and this is a time where you have to ask yourself... Where will this get me in 15 years? " She swivelled around in her chair and looked at her computer before typing something in quickly, 

"How's Texas A&M I'm sure it's not too late to apply" I told her as she looked at the computer but she quickly shot her head in my direction giving me a glare I knew all too well from my mother. 

"shawn, why would you go to Texas when you've already applied for and been offered placed at Cornell and Columbia. Not to mention Washington, you've still got a whole load of talent scouts coming in and your finals coming up and everything is looking great for you. Your grades are great and you're talented, you can go so far and you'd go to Texas to be closer to your sister and Beyoncé?"  Mrs Kelsey scratched her collar bone as she looked at me waiting for an answer but I wasn't sure of what to say. The odds were in my favour, and there are so many people in the world who wish they could be in my position and so many people who deserve it but don't get it and here I am being ungrateful but I just don't know what to do. High School wasn't bad for me and I don't want to leave, I'm gonna miss it. The security, the expectations, the people. Everything about it I knew well, I had gotten to know it and I was comfortable and I can't imagine going faraway and living at some college without making sure that I didn't leave any shit behind. For example the girl I am crazy about and the girl I fucked of whom I was in a 'relationship' with. 

" I see your point, But If I go what happens here? Will Beyoncé be okay? Will my sister be okay? What about my mom?" She smiled at me showing her white teeth and chuckled before leaning back and taking a paper that had just printed, 

"Shawn look at this. The school, what you will study, where it is and how many hours it will take to get there" She handed me a paper and I looked down at it, 

Cornell University - Landscape architecture and business (Ithaca, NY) 24 hours 

Columbia University - Architecture and business  (116th St & Broadway, New York) 24 hours 

University of Washington- Architecture and business  (seattle, Washington) 35 hours 

I had to admit I wanted to go to these schools  a lot, they weren't bad and were perfect for me because I had checked them out years ago and been up to date with them since. I didn't want to go to Yale or Harvard, I wanted these schools and they were the ones that had offered me a place and wanted to have interviews with me but they were so far away. Too far for me to just come back when I wanted, too far for me to spend the weekend with my little sister. Too far for me to spend any time with anyone from home at all.  I guess I'm' just gonna have to make this choice. 

-Thank you for reading. Short I know but PART 1 of this book  is coming to an end. I'm not making separate books but If you hadn't noticed all of the chapter s say PART 1: Chapter '?' because I'm gonna have PART 1 With the two of them in High School,  PART 2: Separated and Part 3: ?? 'Don't want to spoil the book' lol.  There are only 12 chapters in PART 1 and this Is chapter 11 so... anyyywhooo. Please vote and comment. The more comments the more likely I am to update the book. 

1) What school d you think he should go to? 

2) What do you think he's gonna do? 

3) How will other people react to it?

4) How will Annie feel?

5) Do you think he's gonna get a scholarship? 

6)When he's gone will Shontelle try anything with Bey?

7) How long will it be before Jay and Bey are together? Will they be together? 

8) How do you feel about Jay?

9) Any characters you want me to include more? Any characters you really like or really don't like or anyone you just want me to add to the book? 

THANK YOU!!! LOOOOOVE YOU!!!