Being young

PART 2: Chapter 11

Shawn POV:

When I was young I was obsessed with animals, I used to go to the library and take out as many books as I could, all filled with pictures and facts and knowledge about the animals I wanted to soak into my brain every day. I spent a lot of time watching animal shows on the TV, local things as well as the crazy documentaries on the other side of the world. I loved the way that every single species is different, every species is full of complexities very similar to that of each individual human being. Most of all I loved to watch them communicate, sometimes they didn't make a noise- it was all about how they moved their bodies instead, sometimes they would seem as if they were arguing and that always made me laugh. Just imagine it, a young boy sitting on the couch laughing his head off at some animals on the TV. Still, watching these animals communicate for years didn't prepare me for the moment I watched two girls who love each other and have loved each other for years talk.

Watching Beyoncé and Kelly was like being a kid again and watching those animals on the TV- I don't mean that in a rude way- but they had gotten to know each other so well that quite a lot of the time the other didn't need to finish their sentence or even say it properly for one to understand what she meant perfectly. They were hard to understand much like the animals, they cried and laughed and then cried again before shouting and crying some more, they said one word at a time sometimes and called it a conversation while smiling and other times frowning. Obviously I was there to support Beyoncé who I've learned could always do with a little extra emotional support and that's what I'm here for, but right now I was sitting right in the middle of the two who spoke across me and Miss Tina on the couch opposite looking at me pitifully knowing I had the worst seat of us all. Beyoncé leaned forward with her hand on my right thigh and her other on the side of Kelly's face while Kelly reached her hand forward to touch Beyoncé's and the other on my shoulder. Why was I sitting in this seat? Because when we walked in Beyoncé ran inside in search of her 'sister' in tears, then when we looked up and saw her coming down the stairs the two of them few toward each other and ended up hugging in the middle of the staircase, then as they walked down Beyoncé took my hand and squeezed it a little as she smiled at me. I took that as a sign of appreciation for me being here as you do. Then she took me into the living room and sat me down next to her then Kelly sat next to me. And That. That is how I ended up in this seat.

"How could you not tell me?" Beyoncé pushed Kelly then crossed her arms, I didn't like to see tears all over her face so I reached into her pocket and pulled out the tissue I had stuffed in there while we were in the car- I knew she was gonna cry. I then took her chin in my hand and made her face me as I wiped her tears away and she smiled at me a little before frowning at Kelly again.

"I know you Bey!" She yelled, "Come on, we've been friends since we were tiny and I knew you'd feel horrible and with everything going on I didn't want to add more to your plate. You would have blamed yourself, said you were a bad luck charm and this is all your fault, you'd get depressed and lock yourself in your room and it would take us weeks to get you out. I couldn't do that to you so I didn't tell you, I didn't plan on telling anyone to be honest. It just slipped out and then I couldn't stop it" I listened to Kelly's point and mentally agreed making sure I didn't talk out loud and get myself involved- men, never do that! I've learned from experience that it just get's you a dirty look. That's all. Don't get involved in the woman's business unless you need to defend her. I reached over into Bey's other pocket and pulled out another tissue before handing it to Kelly who thanked me and wiped her tears.

"Look, I'll never blame myself again. Jay's made sure of that" She smiled at me then looked back at Kelly, "I want you to be able to tell me anything, anything at all and I won't go all depressed and crazy on you. I've realised that..." She trailed off and looked down, "Me blaming myself, that was kind of selfish and I'm sorry. I really just want to protect my friends and be there for you guys, I don't know what it is... maybe I'm growing up and maturing and all that but I just love you guys and I want you to feel loved and appreciated and powerful." She reached over and grabbed Kelly's hand, "we've grown up around such strong women, my mom, your mom, Miss Williams, all the beautiful women at the salon, our dance teacher, our parents friends. All of them! They're all such good role models for us and I think it's time we grew up and became those women too. You know" She looked over at her mom and smiled, "We've been through a lot, that's how you get stronger and a strong woman is a beautiful woman" She got up off the chair and sat next to her mother before hugging her tight and them calling Kelly over.