Being young

PART 3: Chapter 6

  Beyoncé POV:

  Well, it seems to me that the best relationships - the ones that last - are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship. You know, one day you look at the person and you see something more than you did the night before. Like a switch has been flicked somewhere. And the person who was just a friend is... suddenly the only person you can ever imagine yourself with. And so as he walked past me everything went silent just for that moment, not that anyone stopped talking, but to me I couldn't hear any of it. He walked without knowing I had my eyes glued on him wondering when was the day that switch was flicked and why- even though I am no longer with him- It feels as if that switch still exists and is still flicked in his direction. He finally turned around, you know when you're staring at someone and they catch you so you look away fast? Yeah! I didn't do that. We locked eyes from across the library and his shoulders dropped as I looked at him, I tried my hardest to smiled gently and then when he smiled in return we could both see that they were fake smiles. I lifted my hand and waved at him ever so slightly, his smiled grew a little more as he shifted his books into one hand and then raised the over to wave at me a little too. As he shifted his books I couldn't help but notice the novel at the top of the pile, I smirked and reached in my bag before pulling out the same book and holding it up to show him. He laughed a little too before letting his smile fade and his face drop as he turned away from me and I turned away from him. I almost forgot he liked to read just as much as I did, it was out thing. We always read together, he loves it when I read to him- 

Oh my god...

What have I done?

 Oh my god...

I didn't even realise I had actually broken up with him until now. It didn't sink in that he wasn't actually mine anymore,  that we weren't going to read together anymore...oh shit. Shit Shit Shit. 

I didn't feel it, but now I see him and I see how we're both so sad. It hurts so much, 

"Go and talk to him" Meghan smiled at me and I just shrugged, "You know you want to. We've been studying for hours, we're gonna stop anyway. Just talk to him and sort this all out" She chuckled and Scott nodded his head in agreement and I looked down at the desk. I've made a lot of new friends in constructing a study group and I learned that quite a lot of people knew of our relationship status, after the pool thing and the not talking some people just figured out what was going on and my friends wanted me to go and talk to him. But College is so  different than  High school because in High school the news spreads around to everybody and they all have their own opinions. Here it's not like that at all, but the news does get to the people who know you. And since being a part of the student union, the amount of people who know me has increased quite a bit.  

"I think I'm just gonna go back to my dorm actually, I'm pretty tired. See you guys and good luck" I smiled at them all and waved before gathering my things and leaving the Library. Upon exit I bumped into a large figure and dropped my books on the floor causing me to gasp and apologise before looking up at him and seeing who it was. "Shawn" I looked at him as he reached down to pick up my books before he chuckled, 

"How Ironic" He laughed but I just looked at him confused, "The first time we met we bumped into each other and I picked up your book, it also just so happened to be a book I was also reading and now look. We bump into each other and you drop the book I just took out of the Library" He explained. I laughed a little and tucked my hair behind my ear before taking my books from his hands and looking  at him. "Can we talk?" He asked me, I sighed and then shook my head before walking around him but instead of letting me go he took my hand and held me back. "I miss you" He said. 

"Shawn, this is already really hard for me. Don't make it worse" He let my hand go and then I began walking away too scared to look back at him. I couldn't look at him for too long because once I got lost in his eyes I would be lost forever, one I let my eyes trail over his body soon my hands would follow and when that happened there would be no hiding the fact that I wanted him back. I really wanted him back and I know it would be so easy to just turn around and run into his arms but I can't do it, I still need time and I think it's better this way. No matter how painful it is, it's better like this because I can do things now that I couldn't do before and I need him to look at me and see that. Not the old Bey who still couldn't do those things and I know that he still see's the me. I can just tell, I can read him like a book.