Being young

PART 3: The End

YEARS LATER...

Awareness crept up and engulfed my body slowly at a similar speed at which it had left me when I was falling asleep the night before. I heard the door handle move slowly before the door creaked open but I didn't move until a large pair of warm arms wrapped around my waist causing me to smile. Letting my head stay on the softness of the pillow I smelt the crisp air as I pushed my body back ever so slightly into the figure.

"Mom?" A little girls's face was close to mine and I could feel it, "Mom, wake up" She whispered causing me to giggle slightly as she used her small and soft fingers to lift my eyelids and look closely at me. With her face close to mine I pushed my lips out for a kiss which she returned by pecking them with her own. "Mom, guess what day it is" She moved away from me as I sat up in the bed and let the duvet fall off my body ever so slightly; I looked around to see Jay still asleep with his arms around my waist and rolled my eyes before looking back at the little girl.

"I have no idea" I said playing dumb causing her to haul her small body onto our bed and roll her eyes. She held her teddy up for me to see and I smirked remembering fully well what day it was. I wanted my first child to give that teddy a birthday but now that I think about it I can't remember why, something made me love the teddy and something made it having a birthday deeply important but I just couldn't remember. I had asked my mother why I wanted it to have a birthday but she didn't know, I had asked Jay but he didn't know either. I figured a 19 year old me was just a little immature or something happened that I can't remember. 

"It's Rah-Rah's birthday!" She yelled excited causing me to laugh harder and grab her before pulling her onto my lap and playing with her tiny feet a little bit.

"And what would Rah-Rah like for his birthday?" I asked my daughter who raised her big brown eyes in thought and placed her finger on her chin.

"He would like for daddy to wake up and give him a big kiss!" She yelled throwing her hands into the air before crawling over to her father and jumping on him repeatedly. "Daddy Daddy wake up wake up!" She jumped and I began pushing Shawn back and forth out of his sleep motivating his head to pop up and look at the two of us as if we were crazy. We laughed and Jay grabbed Blue and threw her in the air letting her 4 year old body fall back onto the bed in a fit of laughter before he grabbed me and pinned me down beneath him planting kisses all over my face.

"Jay! Jay stop!" I giggled but he just kept on going until Blue spoke,

"Hey, It's Rah-Rah's birthday not mommy's, silly" Blue huffed and then crawled between the two of us. "Don't you know anything?" She asked looking up at Shawn. I was laying on my back with Blue on top of me and Shawn hovering over the both of us laughing.

"Oh yes! How could we forget such an important member of the family?" Shawn leaned down and planted a big wet kiss on the teddy bear and then on Corey's forehead and then on my lips. "Well what are we going to do to celebrate?" He asked me, Blue turned over so she was laying on her stomach on my chest and she looked at me. 

"We'll take him out for breakfast, then we'll go to the part and then we'll get on the jet and go see Grandma and Richard" Blue nodded her head fast before she spoke, 

"And we'll have a pick nick? With Grandma's lemonade? And I can push Rah-Rah on the swing!" She climbed out from between us excited and jumped up and down on our bed next to me. "Yaaaaay!" She yelled. 

"Blue be careful" I told her before taking a look at the bed side table she was dangerously close to and smiling lightly. 

"Yes mommy" She sat down on the bed before twisting her body around and picking up the photo frame off the bedside table and holding the picture out to me. "Why does this drawing get to be in a photo frame but mine just go on the fridge?" She asked, I took the picture from her hands and smiled down at it. 

"Aunty Annie drew it for me a very long time ago blue, I can't get rid of it and I want to keep it safe. It means a lot to us" I explained to her before placing it down in it's usual spot and pulling Blue into a big kiss. "Hey, why don't you and daddy go and get cleaned up and I'll get breakfast started yeah?" She nodded her head and grabbed Shawn's hand, climbing off the bed and walking out of our room with him smiling at me. I leaned over once again to the bed side table and smiled. We had moved house a few times before settling into this one but something that came with us everywhere we went was the layout of my bed side table. I always had the same three things on it.

1) My very first sonogram, the baby I lost. 

2) The picture a nine year old Annie drew after the death of her first child

3) The Goldfinch 

And the same things in it's little draw. 

My wedding ring 

-The End