Use Me, Royal Stranger (mxm)

Chapter 27 - The Queen's Virtues

Media: Love Me Again - John Newman

Alaric sunk into the tub of scalding hot water, dismissing his attendant so he could be left alone to his thoughts. Holding his breath underwater, he allowed the heat of the water to melt away the tension in his body. A pang of heartache squeeze at his chest, and Alaric emerge from the water, taking in a deep breath. Drawing his hands in front of his face, Alaric stared at his blood stain free hands. Carlen.

Alaric slammed his eyes shut as the image of Carlen, lifeless and bleeding on the healer's work table flashed in his mind. His inner wolf growled viciously. The blood that was flowing steadily from his open wound, the pain that he must felt. A shudder shook Alaric's body. Carlen would have had low pain tolerance. He grew up not knowing the pains of combat, or war. The most pain he would have to endure were burns and minor cuts on his hands from being clumsy in the work room.

The need to go against his seal and word assaulted his consciousness. He should never have signed the contract with those rebels. He had been too hasty. Far too hasty, and naive. Now Carlen paid the price and he could not even demand for revenge.

The sudden familiar sensation prickling of his inner wolf made him sigh tiredly. All the decisions, poor decisions he had made up till this point seemed to be all punishing him at once.

"Sophia." He greeted, not bothering to look up at her.

The Queen waltzed into his bathroom, pausing for a moment before sitting down on a stool by his tub. She quietly picked up a wash cloth and handed it to Alaric.

Alaric accepted the wash cloth without a word, not particularly in the mood to deal with his Queen at the moment.

"I'll move to the west wing tonight."

Alaric frowned but kept silent, not sure where their conversation was going.

Queen Sophia sat with him quietly for a long time, before she whispered, "I knew he was special to you from the moment I saw how you looked at him. I saw the glances he tried to sneak you, the sad looks he would have after. I saw how you strain your neck just to have one more glimpse of his figure walking around. I knew. I knew because I had a mate."

Alaric's ears pricked at that as he raised his head slightly to look at Queen Sophia. They never spoke like that with each other before. She had never spoken about her past in Clarity much. She was donned in plain clothing, her hair and neck free of expensive jewels. Even without all the beautiful decorations and make up on her, she still looked beautiful. But Alaric could only compare her to Carlen, and she paled at every turn, even as his last memory of Carlen was of his lifeless, dying body.

"I used to look at my mate like that. He was a warrior. A strong and brave one." Sophia smiled gently at the memory of him, "I would lean so far out my window, I would almost fall over the balcony just to glance at his figure walking past the gardens below. At ceremonies, I would pay the greatest attention to every single move he made as he marched, wearing his well tailored uniform on his beautiful shoulders. He was the image of perfection, no one else could compare. No noble, no king, no prince. No one." Queen Sophia brought her handkerchief to her face to wipe a tear that fell, "Everywhere he was, I knew, I could sense him. Everything he did, my eyes would follow. Every moment we had together, it was etched into my memory, because it was so very precious. He was so very precious. I would have died for him." She looked straight at Alaric, "But he died, and I wasn't there for him. In that war, between Clarity and Justice, he was slain. He fought bravely, I knew that much. But he died, and I could never speak of him again. He died and suddenly there was no reason to eat, to rest, to breathe. He was no longer by my side, and I became merely a pawn for my father to strengthen his kingdom. I lost my direction in life, my purpose. He died, and I could no longer love the one that was made perfectly for me."