Chapter 38 - Living With The Choices We Made

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The atmosphere in the inner castle had been tensed for days. If one kept their ears alert, they could hear the bustling of whispers and murmurs about the King on his deathbed. While there were strict instructions to keep rumours and hearsay to the minimum, people still speculated and it caused a sense of unease amongst those who heard the rumours.

With no one of authority to step up and address these rumours, people assumed that there was some truth in the rumours they've heard about the King. Council meetings had also been suspended until further notice, only encouraging more rumours to spread about the King's unavailability.

Carlen hid in the safety of his room, afraid to leave his room in fear of hearing the horrible rumours himself. He couldn't imagine how sickly Alaric must be for the situation to be so tensed in such a short time. Carlen felt terribly guilty, knowing that he probably contributed to the sudden deterioration of Lance's health during their confrontation. His wolf was already weak from the illness, and the blow to their mating bond must have weakened his wolf enough for Alaric to be on his own to battle his illness. If Alaric died, it would have been no different for him to have just stabbed him in the heart instead. In fact, that might be more humane.

Carlen could only react in shock since the day Nana told them that Alaric's health had taken a turn for the worse. Lance had immediately been called to serve by the King's side and Carlen could only imagine the horror Lance was feeling, having to look at his cousin on his deathbed. Carlen himself felt numb with the news, his mind unable to wrap around the idea. In his mind's eye, he could only see Alaric standing tall, proud and strong. It was so difficult to see him lying in his bed, sick. Even the image of Alaric worned out in his office during their talk did not seem real to him.

The same afternoon of the announcement, Prince Shayne was called into the council room for the first time in years and against his wishes, he was appointed to deal with the Kingly duties that Alaric was tasked with. Shayne had initially tried to get out of it, but the mature and rational side of him won when he finally visited his elder brother.

Alaric was in no shape to do any work, he could tell. He wasn't in any shape to even think. He was bedridden, looking pale and weak, as though he could be dead when he was asleep. For the first time since the death of their sister, Prince Shayne retreated into his room quietly and allowed a few tears to fall. He had never seen his brother weak like this before. The fear of losing Alaric to the Goddess felt more real than he could ever imagine.

For days, Lance would spend as much of his waking hours in Alaric's room, quietly watching over his friend and brother. The Queen was the same. They barely ate much before they returned to Alaric, tending to him when he seemed to have nightmares and when he burned up with a high fever each night.

Lance had offered to bring Carlen along, but the younger man was afraid of seeing Alaric die. Each time Lance asked him if he wanted to come along, Carlen would find himself shaking from the thought of it, so Lance left him to stay in his room alone. Flynn kept a close eye on him, trying on several occasions to coax Carlen into a conversation so that he would not spend the entire day just staring blankly out the window, worrying. The only form of update he got was through Lance when he would drop by each day to just hold Carlen close and take a shower.

Alaric had been barely lucid or awake throughout the days, and when he could speak and sit up, they hurriedly tried to get some soft food in his system. But it would not take long for him to throw up, leaving him with no strength in the end. Alaric would call out for Carlen in his dreams, but wake to remind them not to let Carlen near him. He too, did not want Carlen to see him in his weakened state.

One of the rare moments when he was lucid and well enough to sit up on his own, Alaric sent for Lance and called away the Queen and his other attendants. While the Queen protested slightly, she knew that Alaric needed to have a proper talk with his warrior so he could have a peace of mind if anything truly happens to him. So much had happened in that short few months.

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