Heartbreak Girl (Ashton Irwin)

Chapter 17

New updates: Friday/Saturday/Sundays. Some weekends I will update twice, maybe even three times, but always at least once.




Ellie's POV


It felt like my world was crumbling around me. The moment I realized that Ashton was everything I wanted, everything I needed... Everything just fell apart.

I wanted to stay, I wanted to run to him and hug him and tell him that I love him and tell him how I feel, but my feet betray me. My brain, my heart, and my feet all have different ideas.

Brain: 'Curse him out'

Heart: 'Tell him how you feel'

Feet: 'Run'

My feet ends up winning this battle, leading me towards my house. I'm beyond glad I took track back home, because it's become very useful as I leave him trying to catch up to me.

I couldn't think straight, why would he do this? What did I do, why would he let me go so easily?

"Ellie!" I heard him scream, but it only ignited my feet to go faster.

"Come back!" I hear again, but this time closer. My heart thumps wildly from running and hearing his footsteps edge closer. My adrenaline seems to help, but he's much faster and he easily grips my waist.

He abruptly stopped, causing me to yelp and struggle to get out of his intense grip.

"Let me go" I say through clenched teeth, trying to pry his arms off of me.

"Not until you let me explain and let me talk" he demands, his grip intensifying with each attempt to untangle from him. Soon, I just stopped trying because it was getting hard to breathe. The salty tears blurred my vision, seeping into my pressed lips.

"You have 1 minute" I spat, breathing out heavily as he let me go.

"That's all I need" he said, turning me around so I faced him. I refused to look him in the eyes, wiping furiously at the tears that brimmed my eyes.

"It was a mistake," he began, "a drunken mistake. It wasn't supposed to happen, I don't even remember going into her house. All I remember is getting drunk... You have to believe me Ellie! I didn't mean to do it, I don't even know her name. It was a mistake, please, please, just forgive me" he begged, grabbing my hands and looking at me.

I almost wanted to give in, but the thoughts of her and him humping each other like crazed dogs makes me sick to my stomach. He leaned in to kiss me, but I turned away.

"No Ashton, no! You can't expect me to forget what you did today" I explained, yanking my hands from his grip and pushing his shoulders.

"If I could take back tonight, I would. I was drunk and beyond sad... You have to believe me." He begged again, but I wasn't having it. I shook my head, the tears starting to fall faster.

"How was I supposed to know that you loved me, anyway? You completely shut me out for, now your ex boyfriend. How was I supposed to know?" He almost yelled, his voice cracking.

"Because," I said, refusing to look him in the eye. " I'm not saying you were supposed to know, but if you really loved me, this wouldn't have happened." I croaked, gasping for air as my sobs started.

How stupid can I be? Yeah, what he did was horrible, but how was I supposed to expect him to still love me? How was I supposed to expect him to like me and pretend like nothing ever happened?

"I need you" was all he said, but it set me loose. I couldn't stay mad at him, but I couldn't forgive him either. I just needed for him to hold me.

I collapsed into his arms, crying out and sobbing. It hurt to think he would ever sleep with another girl, but he was never mine to begin with. I know I shouldn't be mad for something that was out of my control, none of my business, but I was still mad. Beyond mad. The images kept flooding in, and it made me disgusted to touch him, but I couldn't move. Hell, I could barely breathe.

"I'm sorry" he repeated over and over, but my tears didn't let up. I felt him pick me up, surprising me at first, but he said he was just taking me home.

He held my legs in one arm, his arm nudging in the crease behind me knees while the other arm held my back up. I wrapped my arms around his neck, sniffling and wiping my tears with his shirt.

"I hate you" I said, clenching my jaw.

"I know" he whispered, taking a deep breath. It was true, I did hate him for this. I shouldn't, I feel bad that I do, but I really, sincerely hated him.

But the thing was, I loved him more. I loved him more than I hated him, which made my mind constantly spin around in circles like a broken clock.

I hate him. I hate him, I hate him, I hate him. I really hate him.

But you love him, my inner voice butted in, making my brain fumble with different remarks. It was confusing. He was confusing.

I wanted to punch him in the stomach, but at the same time, I wanted to kiss him. I wanted him to tell me everything was okay and I wanted to stay in his arms forever.

Caught up in my thoughts, I didn't even feel Ashton putting me in my bed. I didn't feel him kiss my forehead and tuck me in. I didn't feel myself fall asleep. I didn't feel myself falling deeper and deeper in love.




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So, I updated twice in two days! Yay me!

Love you all so much, I'm so grateful for every single one of you. My little butt butts.

Stay safe and read my new book 'The Red Willow' if you'd like! Posting chapter one after 30+ reads for the prologue. Niall Horan love story :)