Among the Asgardians: The Goddess of Love

The Tyger

Recap of Chapter 37

"You did...what?" Loki asked.

"I... I slept with Jacob. But I was drunk! Please don't hold this against me!"

When I turned around, Loki was standing up with a murderous expression on his face. "I don't believe you!" He shouted, his face bright red and veins popping from his forehead. "I used to think that I was the monster, but now I see that it is you, you stupid slut! Get out of my sight and don't bother speaking to me ever again!" He threw his head in his hands and fell to his knees, sobbing brokenheartedly.

"Loki," I whispered as the flow of tears in my eyes increased as well.

"Go away," he moaned. "Just get out of my sight, you piece of filth. I am obviously not good enough for the goddess of love."

I walked blindly out of the door. There was only one place I could go, since her and Clint had probably heard everything. Natasha's."

Kathryn's POV. Present Time.

I didn't know where I was going. I didn't care. Of their own accord, I found my feet stumbling around the helicarrier with the full intention of going to Natasha's, but they wouldn't walk in that direction. Instead, I staggered about in a daze, only vaguely aware of the other agents murmuring about me behind my back.

Not that I blamed them. Less than twenty-four hours ago, I had been just a normal person in their eyes. Now, I was the strange girl from another planet who had been touched in a very bad way by slimy, deplorable Chitauri and who was in love with the one who had called that race of wretched creatures here in the first place. She was a beautiful girl on the outside, but her beauty was a curse. Nothing more than an excuse to be used to her advantage or as a tool to bring power into the hands of the right people. Now, as I stumbled about, the agents casting me disgusted glances and murmuring hurtful things, I realized there was only one more thing left to do. To end it all.

Without Loki, my life was meaningless. Now that he no longer wanted me, what did I have to live for?

Tony, said the voice in the back of my mind. Jacob, Sleipnir, Natasha, Clint. Especially Clint. Bruce, Dr. Selvig, Patsy.

Sadly, all their names were only making me feel worse. I had let the all down by sleeping with Jacob. I made life hard on all of them. I didn't deserve to live. Now my feet knew exactly where they were going. I went up to the stairs to the bio lab in an almost full-on sprint. Throwing open the door, I ran to the cabinets and threw open the first drawer, digging around for the thing I needed to end my pain. A scalpel, which could easily be used to slit either my wrists or my neck. Whichever I felt would be easiest.

I dug for about five minutes, but the only things in that drawer were chemicals. I placed my hand on the floor, kneeling down to search the next drawer for my precious instrument of death. As I moved to the next drawer and continued digging, I felt a hand on my shoulder. "What are you doing?" Bruce asked in his kind, caring voice.

My fingers closed around the very scalpel I was looking for and I paused, still not turning to face him. "I'm a monster," I whispered.

Bruce squatted down next to me and looked me in the face. When he saw my red, puffy eyes and the tracks my black tears of mascara had made down my face, he sighed. "I knew they should have told you about Jacob sooner. Peter, could you leave us alone for a moment?"

The boy, who had been standing there as still as a statue, replied in a clearly uncomfortable voice, "Sure, Dr. Banner. We can continue this examination later." There was the sound of footsteps, a door closing, and then silence.