Among the Asgardians: The Goddess of Love

Coping Strategies

Loki’s POV (Present time)

I lay awake in my bed, looking at the golden ceiling and randomly wondering what Kathryn was doing. When I had spoken to her in my dreams, she hadn’t left me much of a clue of what was going on back in Midgard. It left me unable to sleep as I wondered what she was doing, and if she missed me.

Odds were that she didn’t. Heimdall had told me she was betrothed to the brother of the soldier. It was the final blow that knocked me down. The day I left her, she was already pledged to wed another man. It made no sense.

The sleeping servant girl to my right let out a sigh as she slept, her face curling up into a smile of absolute contentment.

Her name was Trist and she was very beautiful, but I had only taken her as a means to forget Kathryn. She had been my mother’s maidservant for as long as I could remember. We had played together when we were little, before I was old enough to know she was a servant. However, she was not worth the dust under my feet, no matter how captivating her appearance.

As her arms curled around me in sleep, I let myself pretend she was Kathryn. The feeling was so real that I let my lips press softly into her auburn hair and my hands stroke her shoulder softly with my thumb.

She mumbled something and slowly opened her beautiful eyes that reminded me of a deer’s. They were a deep, rich, chocolate color and framed by thick, dark lashes. They were large as well and contained an innocent look. “Can’t you sleep?” she whispered.

“No,” I replied, turning away from her and looking up at the ceiling again. “I haven’t slept at all since my return to Asgard.”

“Are you worried about someone?” Trist asked, squirming under my arm and kissing my side as she did so. She was desperate for attention and it got on my nerves. I wanted to strike her for invading my space, but I held back my emotion and strove to remain a flat, blank mask.

“No,” I repeated.

“Do you miss Midgard?”

“No.”

“Did you have friends there?”

I sighed. “Please be quiet, Trist.”

“I’m just trying to help you,” she whispered. “Loki, you came to me and bed me without regard to my thoughts on that. You knew I had never been with a man before and that I wasn’t exactly comfortable with that. Still, you took me anyway. And like a stupid idiot, I let you. I don’t know the maiden you’re trying to forget, but I know the signs. She is the one you are meant to be with. You should be with her.”

“She is to wed another man,” I protested. “Therefore, I must forget her or be accused as a lecher by my own daughter. I know Kathryn very well, and she will not be able to resist me. We were made for each other, true, but I will not steal her from the one she loves. If it is not me, what can I do but watch?”

“You could kill him,” Trist suggested. “You killed your own father, Loki. Why not kill a pathetic mortal as well? He is nothing to you. He is like the filthy slaves that go by day and by night. They are nothing. Their clothes are rags and their bodies reek of dead things and blood and dirt. They do not take the initiative to even bathe, and still the mortals are below them. Mortals are the scum of Yggdrasil, and it is a wonder no petty race has overtaken them yet.”

Oh, I wanted to strike her so badly. She just called me petty as if I were a child! But more than that, she had used a pernicious tongue to imply that the plight of the slaves was their own fault! “When beggars die, there are no comets seen; the heavens themselves blaze forth the death of princes,” I said cryptically. “When I fell from Asgard, the whole realm mourned my death. No one mourned the deaths of the thousands of poor villagers killed in the civil war. No one mourned for the hundreds of slaves killed in the slave revolt on Vanaheim. I sacrificed my life and all that I ever loved trying to protect the weaker beings of Yggdrasil from those who look down on them as you do. I fought tooth and nail with the Allfather to free the slaves, but he didn’t. I tried taking over the government by force so I could implement my own government into it that was fair for everyone. I wanted Asgard to be like Rome: strong and powerful but fair and just as well. In Rome, there was no cruelty for its citizens. They were all given fair trial. It’s not surprising that even here on Asgard, we look up to the Romans. Under them, the meek became strong. Julius Caesar himself was a common man! But here you are with your delusions of power and classes. You support this unofficial caste system the monarchy has created.”