Muted Voices

7

I sit outside a random gas station.

They say 24/7, but they're closed for some reason.

So, instead of going to find somewhere to sleep tonight like a normal person would, I instead decided to sit outside a gas station.

Not just sitting outside a gas station, no, I was also crying. Bitter tears of self-hatred, that willed me to sit vulnerably in the open in the middle of the night at a closed 24/7 gas station.

Bitter tears of self-hatred that I didn't want to cry.

"What are you doing?"

I look up and see a girl in the gas station uniform. She was holding a keyring with multiple keys on it.

I shook my head and leaned my head back down onto my knees; So, I could continue to wallow in my own self pity.

I heard her scoff, and assumed she shrugged. I'm guessing she thinks I'm just another emotional drunk wandering the streets at night because I was too stupid to find a designated driver.

I let out a shaky sigh and forced myself onto my feet, reluctantly.

I started to walk off, somewhere else. Anywhere else.

I'm pretty sure, no, I'm certain that Craig does not wish me to reappear at the house.

I wish we got along better.

I sighed again as I continued to walk over to anywhere.

It's not like I have anywhere to go now.

I just wish I wasn't being such a pussy about this. I know it's not a big deal, but I keep acting like it is.

I hate it.

I stumble slightly, and trip on the unevenly laid sidewalk, falling directly onto my face.

I groan as I push myself up slightly so I'm sitting on the sidewalk instead.

I feel liquid drip down my face and quickly go to wipe it.

Then, I see that it's blood pouring from my nose and I instantly start crying again.

Oh God! Now I'm going to die from bloodloss in the middle of the night on some random street! I'll bleed out, then someone will find me when they wake up in the morning on their way to their job, and I'll be even more of an inconvenience because they'll have to tell someone about the dead body laying outside on the sidewalk and-

Just breathe. Just-

I can't breathe!

I sit up and hold my nose. My breathing ragged and sounding painful.

I sucked in air, but it didn't seem to be working.

After a minute or two of this almost complete lack of air, I could sort of breathe again.

It's going to be a long night...