As Told By Nerdy

Chapter 43 - The Worst

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Chapter 43 – The Worst

“Y-you live here… alone?” I croaked as I gazed at Winfred from across the table of his study room after several minutes of awkward silence.

This wasn’t what I had expected at all. In some other parallel universe, you’d probably imagine me and my long lost father running to each other with tears of joy, maybe in slow motion with a touching background music. Well, not in this universe.

He nodded with a sad little smile and hoisted himself on his seat.

“Err…” I started again.

“You’re probably wondering why.” He said resting his chin on the back of his hand.

“Why what?”

“Why— why I left you… and your mother.”

I just shrugged. It wasn’t like it mattered. It wasn’t like I could care anymore. That was so long ago I couldn’t even remember everything. At least that was what I wanted to think.

Winfred cleared his throat and dropped his gaze. It took him about half a minute to meet my eyes and perhaps organize his thoughts.

“Your mom—Emma was just sixteen when we had you. She was in high school back then. I worked part time as a music teacher. It wasn’t easy because she was a minor. Her parents were furious but Emma was… determined to keep you. I remember that one late afternoon. We were having one of those early evening walks when she smiled at me and said, we’re having a baby. She was very happy and I could just see it in her eyes.” A smile trailed on his lips, his eyes wistful.

“When you were born, Sarah, it was the happiest day of my life. You were the most beautiful baby I’ve ever seen.”

“Then why did you leave?” I asked.

“Your mom and I, we have our differences. Emma has her pride and I have my dreams. She knows I’ve always wanted to try my luck in music. It has always been a passion but I couldn’t bear leaving you.”

“But you still did.” I muttered bitterly.

There was a troubled look on Winfred’s eyes when he nodded.

“Yes. Things got too complicated and it came to the point that we couldn’t help but fight. Sarah, I can’t blame you if you won’t believe me, but I love you. There was never a day that I’ve regretted not having to see you grow up. You’re important to me. You and Emma; you’re both very important to—”

“But your music is way more important. I—I get it.” I nodded with a faint smile and swallowed the lump in my throat as I stood up. “I… need to think.”

With that, I darted out of the room deliberately disregarding Winfred’s efforts to call me back. He started after me then slumped on a chair.

I couldn’t bear talking about things that brought suffering to me in the past. Those memories I buried deep inside of me which I hoped would never resurface.

I was startled to see Becky waiting for me outside Winfred’s study with her back on the wall, her eyes looking all worried and teary.

“Sarah, are you okay?” she asked making an effort to hold my arm.

I smirked bitterly at her and shrugged.

“What kind of question is that?” I scoffed as I headed for the stairs. With all that just happened, I didn’t have the energy to make everyone else feel better.