To Be or Not to Be | hamilton

one : alexander

Drugs and sex.

Two things Alexander couldn't live without.

And two things that were present at the party he was at.

The music was loud, the lights were flashing, he was high as a kite, a girl was on his lap grinding her hips against his in just the right way that made him feel good, make him elicit ungodly moans as she tugged at his hair. "G-God..." His voice broke during the moan, but he was too high and felt too good to care.

And then she stopped, and Alexander became distinctly aware of two things: his sudden hardness, and that this girl wanted to give him more than just a lap dance.

"My name's Maria," she whispered huskily in his ear, biting his lip and causing him to groan again, "come upstairs?"

"Mmnf," every fibre of his being felt numb yet hyperactive as Maria dragged him upstairs. "But..."

"I have a better drug upstairs. Sweeter than candy, more addicting than cocaine, more pleasurable than any smoke."

"Heroin?"

Maria groaned, and Alexander realised she was only tipsy, not high like him. Oh, well. Fuck it, he thought, they'd get high together upstairs. Heroin was hard to come by on school campuses now, so it was no wonder she kept it hidden. "No, you fat motherfucker."

She led him to her room, then allowed her shorts to fall, taking Alexander's eyes with her. "Want a bite?" She purred, laying on her bed and moving her lace panties down just a few inches, giving him a sneak peak.

"Sweeter than candy," he whispered to himself as he realised what Maria meant.

He had prided himself on being gay, the pun intended. Key word had.

He felt himself move to the bed, he felt himself taking off her crop top with excited, shaking fingers, he felt her pulling off his pants and throwing his shoes across the room, and God she touched him there and Alexander was gone, lost in the heated moment.

}{

"Get up, idiot."

The windows were open, Maria's arm slung around Alexander's naked torso, and Burr was standing at the door, his arms crossed.

Alexander looked at him, his head pounding. "Wh-"

"You're so stupid! God, I told you not to come here, did I not?! You have five minutes before the cops are here. I had to outrace them here to defend your sorry ass- get up! You told me you wouldn't do this again! God, Alexander..."

Alexander stood up drunkenly, staggering to the aide of the room and putting on his clothes. "Aaaaarooooonnnnnn..."

"Alexander. Let's go, you bastard."

"Literally."

"I know, you homo. We need to go."

The two ran out of the house and into Aaron's car, where with an ungodly speed he pulled out of the driveway to the sorority and drove away.

"Man, you really got to stop doing that," Aaron sighed once they pulled into their dorm, leaning back against the chair. "You're going to get caught one of these days."

Alexander, who hadn't spoken a word the whole way, didn't respond and instead fiddled with the seat-belt strap. He knew what was about to come, and he was silently bracing himself for Aaron's rant. Aaron was never one for words, that was Alexander's forte, but when Aaron was bad, words became his weapons.

"Alex, listen. You're smart. You make good grades, you go the extra mile, you're so well-rounded. So why are you fucking it up by doing drugs and prostitution?! Don't give me that look. Everyone in the paternity knows you're willing to give anything from a handjob to anal. Don't look at me like that. Alex," Burr sighed, "these drugs are gonna kill you. Just in the year you've been here alone, I've seen so much digression, and God man, you can't do that to me! You're killing yourself, your future, and God knows you're hurting me. You're destroying yourself! Alex, why can't you see that?! You're the only person on this campus without a job. Why do you think that is, eh?" Burr pretended to think. "Oh. Right. Because of your drug addiction. Why can't you seem capable of living in the real world? Oh! It's because of drugs. Alex, you're the only friend I've got, and you gotta stop this addiction, for me if not for you."

Alexander said nothing; Burr didn't know if his words even were heard. Instead of acknowledging the monologue, he got out of the car and said a thank-you to Burr for droving him back, and then he went inside the dorm.

"What the fuck?"