To Be or Not to Be | hamilton

seven : alexander

"Sir-"

"You can miss one day of school, Alexander," Professor Washington told him sternly.

"It'll mess up my grades and my future and-"

"Son, listen. You have to pick and choose your battles. Good- perfect- attendance, or a day with your dying friend?"

Yes, it was true. John was not dead, but rather dying and in a coma. His odds of living were great, though. This naturally drove a wedge between Thomas and Alexander, because all of his pain was for naught. (Alexander had told Thomas he lost his best customer. Not much of a wedge, but Alexander was proud of himself. Alexander was going to stop drugs now. And maybe have that threesome with Eliza. How was Eliza? He hadn't seen her in a week...)

Still, Alexander wanted to see John, so he hesitated.

"People are forever," Washington advised him. "One day is temporary. Make your memories."

Alexander nodded, leaving the classroom.

}{

John's hand was cold. Too cold. Scarily cold.

Alexander touched it once before recoiling with a yelp. It- John's hand- felt like his mother's...

Hurricane. Death. Destruction. Wind. Rain. Pain.

No! Alexander forced himself out of his thoughts. This was America, Land of the Free and Home of the Brave. No hurricane could hurt him here.

So he forced himself to hold John's hand as he told stories of his life until his throat was scratchy and sore. John's hands were soft and smooth. Alexander's were rough and. calloused.

He told stories of the Caribbean, his dead cousin (he skipped the suicide part. It hit too close for comfort, after all.), any happy memory Alexander had. Every now and then, he gave John's limp, lifeless hand a squeeze, as if that would magically send a normal pulse to John's heart.

He also confessed being gay.

Alexander was so immersed in his own thoughts he didn't hear the crying, but it wasn't him, since his eyes were dry. He turned behind him and-

Eliza.

Alexander stood up, knocking his chair over, and crossed the room to her, going to give her a hug. She flinched away and a piece of Alexander's heart died. What was he now? A monster?

"Eliza-"

"No!" Her voice was dripping with her pain, but her voice never broke. Her eyes were wet, but she stared at him with a burning intensity. "You never told me those things."

"Eliza-"

"Don't call me by my name, Alexander."

"You just called me by mine-"

"You utter asshole! How dare you! Who is that?! Hm?" Eliza glared at John's body. "Your fuck buddy?"

"No, Eliza-"

"I told you not to call me that-"

"Then what am I supposed to call you?!"

"Nothing!" Eliza reached up and smacked Alexander, glaring at him once more. He reached up to his stinging cheek instinctively. "Listen to me for once, Alexander. A relationship has two people in it. This is my turn.

"You... I thought you loved me-"

"I did- I mean, I do!-"

"Shut up. Let me talk." Alexander had never seen such rage, and quite frankly, it scared him a bit. He took Eliza's advice and shut up. "You never spend time with me. You never bother to even text me anymore! You're always out with Aaron or whatever his name is, doing drugs. Quite frankly, I don't approve. But I let it slide for you. I want to help you with that because I love you. But you kick me out of your life?!

"And now you're gay. Alexander, I don't care who your sexual preferences are. But if you could have tell me before I fell head-over-heels for you, that would've been nice!" She was shaking now, crying, but her voice stayed strong. Alexander admired that. "But that doesn't matter now, either!

"You've never told me what you told him. Ever. I suppose that is love. May the you two be happy together. I love you, Alexander." She ran away.

Alexander called, but protest was useless. He sank against the chair.

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chapter ended at 666 words niiiice