Soul Mate | Kylo Ren x Reader

30 | Goodbyes/Reincarnated

One whole day: twenty four hours, two minutes, seven seconds.

Kylo pondered upon the ticking clock in his mind, the overwhelming reminder that you weren't coming back.

If he was so lucky enough—a man as troubled as himself—to have the stars bring him back to life... why couldn't you have been lucky, too?

The guilt fed on him, if he hadn't saved you then, you wouldn't be dead now.

Or would you? That house fire was disastrous, but at the same time, if the First Order hadn't infiltrated your home planet, you still would've been fine, living on your own without a single worry of death.

Yet, Kylo stood there, blaming himself.

He shouldn't have left you all those years ago, he shouldn't have allowed Snoke to deceive him. He was never meant for the Dark Side, yet, he wasn't meant for the Light either.

Kylo pained, he pained over his past, the life he had, and the two lives he lost—their blood in his own hands. Even if he hadn't literally killed you, in his mind, he had.

But, Kylo took in a deep breath and appreciated the little he now had, although he had lost you and his father and possibly himself... he still had his mother, and his mother was good enough.

Because in the end, he never felt the slightest of hate for Leia.

"I can't feel her anymore..." Kylo muttered, standing just outside the morgue. "Her soul, the Force flowing through her... it's all g-gone," He choked, swallowing the lump in his throat as he gently leaned his forehead against the the glass door. "Why? Why her and not me?"

The sight of her grieving son pained her, it was enough with the suffering the two had gone through, this was the last thing Ben needed, let alone, Leia.

You were so bright, so wonderful, in Leia's eyes, you outshine the stars. She may never had admit it, but in her eyes, you were her everything. If Ben had never turned, she would have stopped at nothing to keep you and her son together, because Ben's happiness brought her joy.

What mother doesn't love to see their child happy?

Gently placing a hand on his back as she rubbed it, Leia let out a soft sigh before holding onto his forearm with her free hand. "Because the stars believe you deserve redemption, you have a fork in your path now, and it's time to choose the right one. Whether it be left, right, or even the middle—the Force has so much left for your soul. Y/N's duty in this lifetime was fulfilled, she was the balance, the one hope we needed to gain you back, Ben. And... and I know it's tough to hear, but this was her path. This was her destiny. She sacrificed herself for you because all she ever wanted was for you to be free. No matter how difficult things must've gotten, you two still worked your way through it." Watching the light tears trickle down and stain Ben's cheek as he bit on his lower lip, Leia softly wiped them away before turning his attention towards her.

"I know you, Ben. More than you know. Do not blame yourself for this, you need to remember how much you've done for her, how many times you saved her. It was her time to save you." With a light pat on his back and a kiss to his upper arm, Leia separated herself from him to give him alone time.

As much as she wanted to savor every moment of having her son back, she new that now all he needed was him and himself only. Sure, Leia had lost her one true love to the hands of her son—or so many liked to believe—but she knew the truth. And the truth was Han, too, was a part of the equation of setting Ben free. Sacrifice isn't always the best answer, but it happens to those who put others first—and that's what the Force had in store for Han and yourself.