Save You Tonight

I Want To Die

*Nicole's P.O.V.*

"Get up you ugly slut!" Uncle Aaron growled at me. I didn't move. If I died, why would it matter? I hope he kills me.

"GET THE HELL UP!" He screamed. I didn't move. I felt him kicking my side, but I didn't react. I felt dead. I lost Niall, my true love. I heard him curse under his breath. He stomped back up the stairs. For the first time in a few days, I got up. I looked at my body for a minute. My dress had some blood stains from when they beat me, and when Uncle Aaron cut my arm. I was very thin, because I hadn't eaten. I stood up, and walked around. I searched through the basement, searching for something, anything that would help me kill myself. I looked around, all I could see were a few boxes with nothing in them. Suddenly, I saw an old TV. I looked around for something to break it. I saw an old book. I picked it up, and threw it at the TV. It didn't break at first, so I threw the heavy book again. Nothing. I tried again and again and finally, a crack formed. I continued hitting it, causing the crack's size to increase. One last slam caused the TV's screen to completely break. I picked up one of the shard. I started cutting at my wrists, hoping to slice one of my veins. Suddenly, the door slammed open, and my Uncle and Grandfather ran downstairs.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!?" Uncle Aaron screamed. I continued trying to cut my wrists. My Grandfather had grabbed me, and threw the shard to the floor, breaking it into a thousand tiny pieces. I broke down crying and screaming.

"LET ME DIE!" I screamed,"I WANT TO DIE! YOU KILLED NIALL!"

Grandfather held me back as my Uncle took away the broken TV. I started screaming even louder, and thrashing my arms. He took the TV away, and cleaned up the shards. Grandfather let go of me once everything was cleaned. I collapsed on the ground, sobbing. I felt my Uncle kick me in the stomach. I heard him cuss under his breath. Him and my Grandfather went back upstairs, and locked the door behind them. I quickly stood up, and ran up the stairs. I started struggling to open the door, so I could run away from here. Then, I could kill myself without trouble. I know the other boys would be sad, but...... I can't live without Niall. He's the first person in a long time who truly cared and loved me. If he can't live, then I don't deserve to either. I started pounding on the door, screaming,"WHY DID YOU KILL HIM!? WHY!"

"SHUT THE HELL UP!" my uncle yelled, once again. I heard him open the door. The door opened inwards, so the impact of the door caused me to fall down the stairs. I hit my head on one of the stairs, and knocked myself out.
*

*Niall's P.O.V.*

"Niall, get up," I heard Harry say. I didn't say anything. I felt Harry kick the side of my bed.

"Come on, get up," Harry repeated. I groaned, and muttered,"Why should I?"

"Don't you want to look for Nicole?" Harry asked. The mention of her name brought a wave of depression crashing down upon me.

"Yeah...." I muttered, slowly climbing out of bed. I followed Harry downstairs, and into the kitchen. All the other lads were their.

"You wanna eat Niall?" Liam asked, as I walked in. I shook my head,"I'm not hungry," I mumbled.

"Come on, Niall, don't pull this crap," Zayn replied,"We're not gonna let you starve yourself again. Nicole wouldn't want you to do this."

The mention of her name caused my head to shoot up from my gaze at the floor.

"She might even be dead...." I mumbled.

"Don't say that!" Louis protested,"We will find her!"

"How do you know!?" I yelled. Nobody answered.

"That's what I thought.." I mumbled, trudging back up the stairs to my room. I threw on a new outfit, and walked back downstairs.

"I'm sorry, Niall," Louis apologized,"I didn't mean to make you angry."

"It's okay..." I muttered, and walked into the garage. I got in my car, and drove out of the garage. I drove around, and spent the rest of the day searching for Nicole. It was late that night,and I heard heard my phone buzzing. I pulled over, and answered it.

"Hello?" I muttered.

"Niall, you've been out all day!" Liam exclaimed,"Come home!"

"I haven't found her yet!" I protested.

"The police will find her," Liam replied.

"But, what if they don't?!" I argued, anger rising in my voice. I heard Liam sigh on the other end of the phone,"Niall... I'm going to stop lying to you.... I don't know if we'll ever find her. You can't spend the rest of your life searching for her. Sometimes you have to realize that you can't do everything. You need to leave the matter of finding Nicole in the police's hands."

".... And, if they never find her.... I don't know if I'll be able to recover...." I muttered, sadly.

"I'll let you look tomorrow if you come home," Liam begged.

"Fine," I replied. I hung up, and started driving home. I parked the car, and walked inside. Everyone was in the living room. They saw me, and seemed happy that I was home.

"Thank God you came home," Liam said.

"Okay, now you need to eat," Harry said, handing me a plate of dinner.

"I'm not hungry," I muttered my usual response.

"Niall, you haven't eaten in nearly three days, you have to," Harry begged. I sighed, and took the plate. I sat at the counter, slowly chewing the food. It no longer tasted good. I ate half of the meal, and trudged up the stairs to my room, and fell asleep, not bothering to change.
*

Two weeks have gone by, and we haven't been able to find Nicole. I've looked everywhere. We even had to had to have signs put up. I feel like the life's been sucked out of me. Nothing seems to have meaning. The lads have tried to cheer me up, but I can't seem to let their words reach my mind. I feel like I'm slowly dying in the inside. The life is being sucked away from my soul. Will I ever be fixed? Will I ever find her.

I trudged downstairs. I decided to skip out on breakfast. I sat on the couch, not bothering to turn the TV on. I walked back upstairs, and threw on an outfit. I was about to go and search for Nicole, yet again, when Zayn stopped me.

"Hey, Niall," Zayn said, grabbing my arm, to stop me,"Rachel called me. Her and her Mom are going to look in some places that their Father used to go, so they can see if he is there. Maybe you should wait until she's done."

I shook my head,"No, I'm gonna go...."

I released my arm from Zayn's grasp. I walked back out to the garage and got in my car. I felt like searching for her was some sort of relief. Like I could finally feel some hope when I searched for her. Hope, that always seemed to fade once I got home.
*

Another week.... I almost want to die now. I feel nothing. No emotion. I no longer laugh, yell, smile, or cry. I don't do anything. I pulled myself out of bed. I trudged downstairs.

"Hey, Niall," Harry said. I didn't say anything.

"Seriously Niall, are you going to be depressed forever?" Harry asked. I turned around, and looked at him,"What if you lost Marie? How would you feel?"

Harry turned away, and sighed. He walked away. I walked back downstairs.

"Niall, we have an interview, will you come?" Liam asked. I shook my head,"I don't think I can."

Liam nodded,"I understand, do you mind if I tell them the truth?"

"I don't care...." I mumbled. Liam nodded, and I sat on the couch. I just stared at the wall. Nothing seemed to matter anymore...... nothing.
*

*Nicole's P.O.V.*

"Not gonna talk, are you?" My uncle asked. I didn't reply. I had started locking up my words again about two weeks ago.... I think. Who cares if I don't talk? There's no need to anymore. I was laying in the corner. My uncle was trying to get me to eat. He had given me food a few times, but I've only eaten a few times. After last week, I've stopped eating entirely. I've decided the only way to kill myself was to starve myself. I'm very, very skinny. I've gotten sick a few times, because I haven't eaten at all.

"Will you eat?" He asked. It almost sounded like he was begging. I didn't respond. He groaned and walked back upstairs. I felt the usual tears falling. I didn't care. Every day, my mind only thinks the same words.... kill me. But, I can't ever get what I want. Why can't I just be put out of my misery? I don't understand.... Wouldn't it be easier to let me die? They just like to see me suffer. I felt his hand punch my fragile structure.

"LISTEN TO ME!" He yelled. I didn't respond. He continued to beat me, causing more bruises. He groaned, and walked back upstairs. Leaving me in peace.... to cry more. Kill me.... My mind screamed. Let me die. Somebody kill me.