It wasn't supposed to happen this way
But it did
Everything started off normally
I was supposed to come downstairs
Give her a big hug and kiss
Except
I forgot
No no, it's not the way you think
I forgot to wish my mom
Happy Mother's Day
Not because
I didn't care
Or was too lazy
But because
I forgot
Let me explain to you what that means
To people like me
People with chronic conditions
Regular people forget
Because they don't care
Or have too much on their minds
We forget because
We can't remember
That might sound like a giant
Confusing haiku
But the truth is
When we suffer from
Short term memory loss
What happened 5 minutes before
Disappears into a fog
In our brains
It simply ceases to exist
Until reminded
And even then it's not enough
While too much information
Is overwhelming
One small thought
Ever important
Vanishes without a trace
Sometimes not to reemerge for years
Not kidding
Today that happened to me
I've forgotten things before
But not something so big
I'm the one on top of birthdays
Holidays
Occasions
For everyone
And though my mom did get her
Gift two days before hand
Just because I was afraid I would forget
This astonishing fact of forgetfulness
Slapped me in the face
And punched me in the gut
At the same time
Cold hard facts that
Though in the last 9 months
Physically I've surpassed a lot
And have done splendidly
Neurologically
I'm not there yet
I will be honest
I fell to the floor and wept with horror
How could I, the one with the ingenuity
How could I forget?
Yet here was another reminder
Of how long it takes to recover
Do not for a moment think
It's an easy peasy thing
If you've been bedridden
Are ill with something that doesn't have a cure
It's going to take well over a year
To feel like all the parts are working properly
Today I forgot
To wish my mom
Happy Mother's Day
Not because I was careless
But because the brain fog
Swallowed my thoughts
I began to question
My own future
As I cried in my mom's arms
How can I do my Ph.D
Become a college professor
If memories fail me so
And then she told me
What my heart already knew
Same as I've been doing it
By inching forward
One step at a time
That is what I intend to do
Until one day I will
Remember to not forget ever again
YOU ARE READING
Rebirth (Book 4)
PoetryThis book starts where Survivor left off only from a much more changed stand point and learning and living one day at a time. That doesn't, however, mean that I am cured of ME or Myalgic Encephalomyelitis; which I was diagnosed with in September of...
