Seventeen

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Getting through the first month without Niall was easier than I expected

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Getting through the first month without Niall was easier than I expected. I mean, I had moments when I'd blank out because I missed him, but they weren't so bad. He'd persuaded me to download Snapchat and we used that platform to talk through pictures and short videos. So when one of us weren't sleeping, we were talking.

School was a different story, but not entirely in a bad way. Considering the hell the place had been for me in the past three years, my senior year was off to a good start. Of course I'd envisioned going through it with Niall, but. I'd gotten past that and there's nothing I can do. I can't dwell on him for so long, I already do enough of that on late nights.

I seem to miss him more at those times. When I'm lying in bed, trying to remember what his touch felt like. I like to play back all the memories in my head and pretend to live off of them. I'm lovesick and I can't help it.

Anyhow, despite Niall's absence, school wasn't hell anymore. I wasn't that insecure, uptight girl that I used to be and that changed everything. Confidence can do that to you. It makes you stronger as a person and it makes you happier. I've learned that, when you stop caring about what other people think, you can do almost anything.

I think I'd been a mess in the past years because of Harry. I used to base everything around him and I wanted to change myself to fit his standards. But then Niall happened, and he gave me so much love that it made me want to love myself as well. I didn't want to change anything, because the person Niall loved was me and I couldn't take that away from him.

Niall was good for me. Well, is. Present tense. Although he's thousands of miles away, we're still okay. We're making it work. At least, I think so. We talked every night (morning for him) and we always try our best to fit to each other's time zones. It's getting a little harder, since school's started and time has become limited, but we're making it work.

...

"I'm dying. I miss him more every day. I need him here. I miss his arms around me and his kisses and—" I say, tossing my English assignment to a farther spot on my bed.

"I know, Kaya." Harry remarks from the edge of my bed, kneeled on the floor with a pencil in his mouth as he looks at his paper.

Cady covers my face with her hand, especially pressing her palm on my mouth.

"Shut up, one more thing about Niall and I'll tape your mouth together. We have to get this project done by tomorrow or we're getting zeroes for our first grades. I can't afford that. It's bad luck." She finally takes her hand away. "I don't know about you, but I wanna graduate."

"I do, too!" I shoot up from the bed. "I just! I miss him! You guys don't get it because your boyfriend is here," I say to Cady. "For God's sake, Liam's just down the hall in the bathroom!" I turn to Harry. "And you! That girl you like is here, too. She's in the same city, not across the fucking ocean in a country filled with Kangaroos and super hot girls!"

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