Eighteen

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As soon as Harry's lips touch mine, I feel betrayal consuming my insides, eating my guts and whatever else that generates my body

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As soon as Harry's lips touch mine, I feel betrayal consuming my insides, eating my guts and whatever else that generates my body. It takes me a minute to soak it all in, coming to the realization that this is wrong, this is so very wrong.

"No!" I shove Harry's chest with my hands, disconnecting not only our lips but also our bodies. "Wh-wh-why did you do that? What makes you think you can kiss me?"

Harry looks at me with the most startled expression, his mouth frozen in place and his eyes widened.

"Why not?" He answers with a question. "Kaya, I thought..." His face fabricates pain and I become confused. I'm the only one who should be hurt right now.

I step back when he tries to walk towards me. His hand's in the air as if he's reaching out to grab me, but if he does, I'll run away. I really will.

"I thought it was mutual," Harry murmurs under his breath. "These past few months—we've been so close and—and I thought you felt it, too."

"No?" I pant. "What's wrong with you? I thought you supported me and Niall!" My voice raises a few volumes but I can't help it.

The wrinkled tension on Harry's forehead drops to a normal, relaxed setting. He crosses his arms and flips his hair all coolly.

"Psh," He sneers. "You guys are basically over, am I wrong? You haven't even talked to him. You're broken up but you're just scared to admit it."

It takes me a minute to speak back, but that's only because his words had knocked on a sensitive subject. Finally, I garner myself and stand my ground.

"No we're not?" I start. "I still love him, Harry? I still cry for him and hurt for his touch. My mouth hasn't shut up about him since the last time he kissed it. You should know that. I miss him more and more every day and I don't do anything about it because I've hurt so much I don't know what's pain and what's not anymore." I pause to suck in a deep breath.

Harry tries to squeeze in something but I beat him to it.

"But I'm sorry?" I say sarcastically. "You shouldn't have done that. You were my friend and I trusted you."

"Kaya, I..." Harry attempts again, but I immediately shake my head and tell him to stop. I honestly don't want to hear it. I don't think I even want to hear his voice.

I grab the sides of my head with my hands and massage my temples. "Please," I mutter, staring at the ground. "Don't talk to me. I don't want to see you right now. I can't... I can't."

Harry doesn't say anything and it produces a heavy silence in the chilly night air. It's like that for some long minutes, and when I still don't raise my head to look at him, I hear his shoes scraping the ground as he turns and goes back into the house. The door slams behind him and it leaves a soaring pain throughout my eardrums.

At the same time, I'm glad. Had he stood out here any longer, I might have done something I'd regret. It's not anything criminal or murderous, but. It's pretty close.

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