Heartbeat

Painting; Intimacy

2 weeks later

Harry-

Two weeks of complete and utter happiness with Alex flew by since our lunch date. We finally had our second kiss on her couch while watching Dawsons Creek again, and soon lost interest as we stole touches and affection in her dimly lit living room.

Now, I watch as she pulls her long hair into a pony tail in front of her apartment window, the sun hitting her just right, her face brightening in the light as she glances over to me with a smile which makes my heart turn to mush. I found it funny when she told me she wanted to paint her apartment kitchen cabinets yellow, but I didn't know she was actually completely serious. But, when I got a text from Alex telling me to come over in some old clothes which can get a little paint on them, I figured out she was completely serious. The bright yellow paint is already poured out into the paint bucket, and it looks even brighter as Alex bends down, dipping her tiny pointer finger into it before pulling out, smirking at her choice of color before wiping it onto her baggy black sweats.

She motions for me to come over with her hand, and I do just as she says willingly.

"So you picked yellow, because you want your apartment to be cheerful?" I laugh in question, thinking back to what she had written on her whiteboard yesterday night as we cuddled up on my couch.

'I don't know why I want to paint it. I guess so it can be cheerful. So I'm happy.'

That's how she answered my question as to why she wanted to paint her kitchen cabinets. I didn't get to ask her why she wasn't happy in the first place.

Alex hands me a paint roller with a small smile, and I take it from her light grasp. The kitchen already has plastic layed on the floors just in case we make a mess with the paint, which will probably happen. Music plays softly in the background from in the living room, and side glances and shy smiles are passed back and forth as we work with the paint. About a half hour later Alex is sat upon her kitchen counter, painting the cabinets above her sink while I paint the upper parts that she couldn't reach while standing.

"We aren't doing half bad." I speak, dipping my paint brush into the paint again before swiping it down a crease it the cabinet.

Alex laughs softly and flashes me a warm smile, swiveling around on her bum so her legs now dangle over the edge of the counter top. I walk over to her after discarding my brush, watching her face as I hesitantly rest between her legs, hips meeting the counter. She just smiles softly, setting her paint brush aside before resting her hands in her lap. I take one of them, fingers playing with her smaller ones as I speak.

"You know, even with paint in your hair you still manage to look pretty."

I could visibly see her cheeks heat a shade, her eyes falling down to our hands which still tangle and untangle with one another. I love how she's so innocent, bashful by even a small compliment. And when we kiss I can always feel her smile against my lips, her shy, sweet smile. And after heated kisses, when we pull away; she giggles when we look at one another before burying her face into my chest.

"Can I ask you something?" I question. She nods her head and I let out a soft sigh.

"Do you ever think you will...you know, talk to me?" I ask softy, leaning down the slightest bit to look at her soft blue eyes, which flutter away from my gaze purposely.

When her shoulders slump the slightest bit, and her eyelashes flutter quickly as if so many thoughts are running through her head; the ones which I so desperately want her to speak aloud, I instantly feel bad.

"Look," I lift my hands to bring them up to her arms, running them up and down her soft skin.

"It's just something I've been thinking about. I just.....want to know why. I want to know the reason for why you don't talk you know?"

She looks up at me for a few brief seconds before letting out a quiet sigh, her head falling against my shoulder.

"I just want to know what you're thinking Alex." I say in a soft tone, mouth right by her ear.

I bring my hands to her face, lifting it so her eyes meet mine, hands cradling the sides.

"I want to hear your voice." Her eyes don't leave mine as I rub over her cheekbones with my thumbs. My heart starts to beat faster as her lips part, mine starting to pull into a smile, thinking she might finally open up to me and speak before she breaks eye contact, shaking her head and letting out a huff.

My hands drop from her face in defeat as she puts her hand to my chest, softly pushing me away so she can get off the counter. I allow her to, and watch as she bends down, retrieving a paint roller. She avoids my eyes as she starts to paint again.


Alex~


The way he looked at me made me want to push him away and tell him he has no business in my personal tragedies in life. The other part of me wanted to confine in him and tell him everything. Every detail. Of how I lost my only family and feel as if no one, and I mean no one, could understand how I could possibly feel and that's why I won't talk to anybody about it. How it started just out of shock as a little girl, losing her mom and sister and not finding the strength or energy to speak. But then as the little grew older, she found there was no point, because nobody sticks around or cares to listen.

But then Harry comes along, and he wants to know about it, he wants to talk to me and he cares. He's cared more than anyone ever has. And that's what scares me the most. Because I'm not used to people caring.

"Alex I didn't mean to make you upset." Harry speaks quietly from beside me, roller dangling loosely in his hand as he looks at me. I glance at him and shake my head softly, standing onto my tiptoes, pressing a very soft kiss to his cheek with guilt.

All he wants to do is help Alex.


~~~~~


An hour or two later had passed by before every cabinet in the kitchen was finished. Things had went back to normal once the tension had passed between us, and we had cleaned up the mess and ended up in the living room on my couch with our paint stained clothes still on. I lay against Harry while he texts to Louis on his phone, replying to him since he hadn't been checking his phone all day. I had taken mine out of my sweater pocket and had begun to scroll through my tumblr.

"Louis wants to know if we want to hang out with him and Eleanor later." His chest rumbles against my cheek as he speaks, and I look up to him before opening up the notes on my phone.

'Im fine with it if you are'

I type into my phone, leaving it on display for a few long seconds for him to read before closing it out.

"Then I'll tell him we will go." He tells me. I nod my head in agreement and lock my phone, setting it aside before cuddling into Harry further. Guilt still stirs inside me for getting mad at Harry earlier when he was only trying to care for me, and I really do wish I could talk to him like he wants. But I don't know if I can.

I turn my head and press a kiss to his chest where my head rests, and his hand begins to trail up and down my back, making the chills and the nerves that always stir inside me when he touches me arise once again. I've never been like this with a boy before, wanting to kiss and touch him.

I kiss his chest again, scooting up so I can reach his neck, peppering a few kisses along the skin there as well. I feel his large hands skim across to my hips, lightly grasping them in hesitation. Warmth spreads across my cheeks, as well as my whole body as he guides me to put my legs on either side of his hips. I've never done this with Harry before, or anybody for that matter. Warm hands travel up to my upper back, I'm guessing he's not trying to push me too far. I meet his eyes and he gives me a reassuring smile, calming a little bit of my nerves before he leans up, initiating the want for a kiss. I lean in as well, soft lips meeting in an innocent kiss, pecking a few times. My heart begins to pound at an unhealthy speed when his tongue swipes along my bottom lip, my mouth opening in a gasp in response. Tongues begin to tangle together in a rhythm, my hands shaking as I reach up to tangle them in his dark curls. We've made out before, but this time feels different. There's an unfamiliar burn in the pit of my stomach, something that could probably be placed as want. Want for him. But I'm too scared, just like I always am of everything.

Harry brings his hands down my back slowly, meeting the skin that is exposed on my lower back from leaning over him. His fingers trail over the skin from where my shirt has ridden up, pushing it up even further, hands lying flat and running up and down the span of my back. When his hands trail over the buckle of my bra I shudder, hands becoming frozen in his hair as my nerves get the very best of me. His hands instantly freeze in place, breaths coming out in pants as our lips disconnect, foreheads resting against one another's.

"Sorry." Harry tells me breathily, thick eyelashes flicking up to reveal his green eyes.

All I want to tell him is that it wasn't his fault. It's mine, because I'm so nervous and scared about these things. Not scared that he will hurt me in any means, but just of sex. Of sex in general. I think everyone is when they have no experience in that area whatsoever. I'm a virgin, as virgin as they could get.

I nod my head against his to tell him it's okay, chills raising on my skin once again as he removes his hands from my back, pulling my shirt back to place.

"Come here." He whispers, helping me unstraddle his waist to lay next to him again, fingers running through my hair as I press my cheek against his chest again, heart still beating frantically in my rib cage and threatening to pop out at any second.


Authors note: It's been a while since I've updated, and I really hope you like it!:) comment and vote please!!