Heartbeat

Meeting; Love And Anger

Song of the chapter-

Little things by One Direction

&

I Do Not Love You by Ron Pope

There is mature content and you guys said you wanted it more descriptive (*cough* perves) jk. But so if you aren't mature enough to read don't, because its more descriptive than the last chapter.


Alex-


Harry showed me around his home town that next day, when the snow was falling and when all the lights on the houses we drove by were lit up. The day was filled with comfortable communication and laughs, and it was nice to see Harry in such a good mood after what happened yesterday.

We got so caught up in our time together that we found his car pulling into the driveway close to ten o'clock at night. Gemmas car is out of the driveway, so that means that she is probably with Jeremy as she had mentioned she would probably do this morning when we were getting ready to head out. He lead me through the front door quietly, aiming to not awake his mother if she was asleep. But instead we find her perched on the couch in the living room with a glass of red wine in hand, a man comfortably close next to her.

"There you guys are, we've been waiting for you son." Anne smiles.

Harrys eyes are set on the man, I notice, as I look up to him.

"This is Dan, Harry, my co worker from the bank."

The man stands up and crosses the living room to Harry, who still hasn't spoken a word. When he extends his hand to shake Harrys, Harry shakes it somewhat roughly in return.

"I think I've mentioned him to you, haven't I Harry?" Anne asks from behind Dan, a happy smile on her face.

"Must've forgotten to slip that in a conversation, Mum." Harry says.

I stand silently beside him, noticing when Dans eyes flash to me.

"It's nice to meet you." Dan tries to ease the obvious tension in the air.

"Your mother has told me alot about you." He smiles. His dark hair is cut short, the blue of his eyes friendly and hopeful of Anne's son to have a liking for him. But it doesn't seem to be that way.

"Well I haven't heard much about you, come on Alex." I almost stumble over my feet as he begins to pull me along with him, catching sight of Anne's defeated smile as we pass.

I hear her murmuring to Dan in a dampened voice as Harry leads me upstairs, concealing us in the bedroom. I eye him carefully and worriedly as he strips his jacket off his wide shoulders, the frown in his brows evident.

"You okay?" I ask in a small voice.

"Fine." The snap to his voice surprises me, making me look away from him as I slowly take off my heavy jacket.

"Sorry, I just didn't like that. Seeing her with someone else." He murmurs, looking across the room to me.

I nod my head, wondering just how much I should try and talk to him about it. It seems like a sensitive subject.

"I bet Gemma knew. My Mum doesn't tell me shit anymore. She acts like nothing's wrong when I come to visit, but then when I leave we don't even talk."

His voice holds an agitated edge as he throws his beanie into his suitcase at the end of the bed, my eyes trained on him, not sure what to say to help him. I don't know what he would want to hear. That she's bound to have met someone, or that it was wrong for her to meet someone? Because the first one is right, she shouldn't have to be alone forever. But he wouldn't want to hear that right now.

"Isn't that fucked up Alex? That I only see my Mum and sister like three times a year?"

I open my mouth to find words to say, but I couldn't, because his angered voice fills the room instead.

"And what's more screwed up is that it's been fine with me. That I don't mind not having them close to me."

The sight before me is new. Never having seen Harry like this, a heaving chest and angry eyes.

"I bet she's been seeing him for a while now. And she decides to tell me only now."

I drop everything in my hands and walk over to him, his eyes flicking down to me.

"Calm down." I whisper, hands resting softly on his chest.

"I didn't think it would hurt me like that to see her with someone other than my dad." He chuckles coldly, no humor in his voice.

"It's okay." I say softly.

His shoulders unstiffen, and I want to kiss away the crease in his forehead.

"I've always wanted to have a big family, did you know that?" He asks me.

I can tell he is trying to control his voice after his temper, which probably is still sizzling within him.

I shake my head and he begins to talk again.

"But I've always wondered if I would be able to. If my mother can't even keep close with her kids, how would I?" Dark, green eyes look down to me.

I don't know what to say, because I know Harry wasnt great at being close to his Mum after his dad died. He'd told me he didn't want to talk to her about anything, his feelings, how he was handling everything. So instead I wrap my lips around his to try and ease his tense muscles, reaching him on my tip toes.

His large spanned hands grip my sides, his hold hard, anger being released into our kiss. But as I massaged my lips against his, it gradually slipped away, but his hold was still firm.

"Are you done yet?" He asks, breath fanning across my face.

I nod my head, and his fingers instantly move to the button on my jeans. He seems desperate, something to get his mind off the recent events of tonight. So I let him, because I just wanted the frown that's etched into his features to disappear. His teeth graze my neck as I kick off my jeans, his hands palming at my chest. He's never been this needy, this desperate and forward before. It makes me wonder just how badly he's hurting inside, and how long he's been hiding it.

So I let him take control of me as he backed me up to the bed with the front of his body pressed to mine, because maybe he just feels the need to be in control of something, my legs giving out as they hit the bed, making me fall onto the mattress with his body on top of mine.

His knuckles rub over my stomach as he takes my shirt off my torso, my eyes trailing over his fully clothed body. I wrap my arms around his back to gather the material of his shirt into my hands, pulling it off him, his hair turning into messy waves.

He doesn't talk, he just kisses my skin, teeth manipulating the sensitive skin as his hands greedily roam the flesh of my body. As I struggle with the buckle of his jeans, I realize we've never done this before. Fast, groping and not wanting to wait any longer. He's always gentle, slow and speaking sweetly to me. And now that we've taken this turn, I've discovered I like it. The way his hands grope my skin, the way his moans vibrate in the back of his throat as he kisses the top of my chest with impatience.

As I arch my back to unclasp my bra after he takes off his jeans, I find myself wanting to hear him talk to me in the way he did before he left for camping. I want to hear the scratchy tone of his voice. So while he pushes down the straps of my bra I open my mouth to speak.

"Tell me what you want to do." I say, his lips sponging over my shoulders.

"God, everything." He answers.

I sigh, feeling a spark of confidence as I reach down in between us to grope him through his boxers. He breaths in through clenched teeth, and pushes his hips against mine.

"I don't have to use a condom right?" He asks breathlessly.

I shake my head, knowing I've taken my birth control as I should be.

His boxers are pushed down, and his nimble fingers move aside the cloth of my underwear to access
his entrance. I let out a shaky breath as he moves within me, not giving me a chance to adjust. But I like this side of him, the sweaty, grunting one that is making my mind spin. His thrusts are deep and sharp, taking the breath from my lungs each time. I whimper, wrapping my legs around his waist, desperate to feel more of him. I remember after the club, after I had a panic attack, he told me he would make me forget, even if it was only for a little while, and he made love to me, and he did make me forget for that time being. So all I want to do is help him like he helped me, not caring if he doesn't give me everything I want, but wanting to make him feel like he belongs with me, because he feels the opposite with the little family he has.

A groan rumbles in the back of his throat as he pushes himself in and out of me, and I know he's desperate for a release as he presses his clammy forehead to mine, his breath hot and quick, matching mine.

"Let go." The words are pushed from my lungs, tumbling into the limited space between us.

When his thrusts became more eager and sloppy after a while, I knew he was there, and I held his face between my hands, his forehead still pressed to mine as he let himself come undone above me. He lays his lips on mine in an exhausted manner, massaging my swollen lips.

"I love you." He murmurs.

"And I love you." I answer.

As I begin to move out from underneath him, his hand wraps around the span of my wrist, gaining my attention.

"Stay with me, please?" He asks.

I nod my head, laying back down beneath him. The muscles in his arms move underneath his skin as he lowers himself down to the mattress, his body halfway on top of mine as he lays on his stomach, arm rested over my bare stomach, head rested just above my chest just a last night.

As I ran my fingers through his hair, and as his arm that's laid across my stomach wraps around me, I began to realize something. He's been trying to help me all this time. It started with trying to break me from my shell, and he did, and I spoke to him. And then the panic attacks and nightmares started. He helped me through my self harm, and now he's helped me take the first step to mend my panic attacks, and found me a therapist. And through all this time, I never noticed the struggles he had. And yesterday I did when he told me. I finally realized that I'm not the only one who was struggling through all these problems.

But tonight, I've noticed Harry has problems of his own, problems he buried away deep inside him for reasons I'm not quite sure of yet. And maybe it was because we already had enough problems to deal with; mine. I never realized that he's broken too.


I'm just letting you guys know that there may not be as many updates as there has been lately once I start school again:) so just be patient:) I'll still update often but not as much. Hope you enjoyed, my nuggets! Seems as if Harry is rubbing off on me;)

If you don't get my joke, leave. Go home.